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Donald Trump Wants to Kill Major Drug Dealers: Report
If President Donald Trump had his way, he would “love to have a law” that sentences major drug dealers to death. According to Axios, the president is fascinated by countries like Singapore and the Philippines that don’t seem to have a rapid drug problem because of the death penalty for major offenders. “He says that…
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Bullied Ex-NFL Lineman Arrested After Posting Disturbing Instagram Story; Causes High School to Shut Down: Report
Former Dolphins offensive lineman Jonathan Martin, who had been bullied by now former teammate Richie Incognito, was arrested Friday after authorities say he posted a disturbing Instagram story that included showing a shotgun, shotgun shells and the names of former teammates and his former high school. ABC reports that on Thursday, Martin posted the images…
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NRA Spokeswoman Dana Loesch Continues Her Crusade to Become the Worst Woman in the World
I didn’t know who National Rifle Association spokeswoman Dana Loesch was before the Parkland, Fla., school shooting that took the lives of 17 students and teachers, and I wish it had remained that way. Sadly, I and the rest of CNN watchers have unfortunately had to see her smug, heartless face way too much. Earlier…
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Rick Gates Becomes 3rd Member of Trump’s Campaign to Plead Guilty to Lying
The bricks in the Kremlin wall, also known as the Trump administration, continue to crumble as former presidential campaign aide Rick Gates becomes the third person close to Donald Trump to make a deal with special counsel Robert Mueller after pleading guilty to conspiracy and making a false statement. Gates—who, in October, was indicted alongside…
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Florida Considers Porn a Health Hazard, Doesn’t Ban Assault Rifles but Agrees to Have More God in Schools
Everyone can stop worrying about guns and mass shootings in schools because a Florida lawmaker has just introduced groundbreaking legislation that will surely be adopted by other areas throughout the nation and will definitely put a halt to gun violence. According to CNN, Rep. Kimberly Daniels, a Democrat, pushed a bill requiring public schools to…
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Trump’s Justice Department Doesn’t Care About Civil Rights: Report
In news that would shock only an alien who just landed in the United States on his way to Pluto and was unfamiliar with the legacy of fuckboy shit that the Trump administration has pulled, the Department of Justice, headed by Jeff “King Keebler” Sessions, has pursued fewer civil rights cases than previous administrations. According…
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Deranged NRA Spokeswoman: The Media Loves Mass Shootings, and Crying White Mothers Are Ratings Gold
National Rifle Association spokeswoman Dana Loesch knows exactly what she is doing. Her job as a mouthpiece for the NRA is to shift the focus from looking at gun laws to looking at anything but gun laws. Seriously, she doesn’t care if the focus goes from the Parkland, Fla., mass school shooting to the county…
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Watch: Let the Battle Begin in Netflix’s Roxanne Shanté Biopic Roxanne, Roxanne
The year is 1984, and the ends of your fat laces are freshly tucked inside your suede Pumas. You’ve just finished asking your father to buy a large piece of linoleum flooring so that you can practice your backspins in the carpeted living room when you hear the sounds of a braggadocious 14-year-old girl destroying…
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Trump Can’t Seem to Get His NRA Objectives Together, Now Backtracking on Teachers Carrying Guns
News coming out of Lex Luthor’s secret cave, aka the Trump White House, continues after the president threw a Twitter hissy fit because news folks supposedly misunderstood his call to arm some teachers as a call to arm all teachers. As we’ve learned with this administration, what Donald Trump says on Wednesday has nothing to…
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Clarence Thomas Sexual Harassment Accuser Wants Him Impeached
Angela Wright-Shannon accused Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment in the 1980s, and now, in a scathing op-ed, she’s calling for his impeachment and removal from the bench. Wright-Shannon, a former Charlotte Observer editor, wrote in her HuffPost essay published Monday that she and several other women, including Anita Hill, accused Thomas of…

