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Former Trump Aide Sam Nunberg Went Full Kanye During Media Blitz, Called Sarah Huckabee Sanders a ‘Fat Slob’
Monday was just Mondaying along doing its usual Monday stuff, and then former Donald Trump campaign aide Sam Nunberg turned to Monday and yelled, “Hold my antidepressants!” Basically, and this is the best way to explain what happened Monday: Nunberg received a subpoena for email records between him and former Trump adviser Roger Stone and…
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Trump’s Lawyer Wasn’t Happy That the President Never Reimbursed Him for Paying Off That Porn Star: Report
Michael Cohen, the Trump lawyer who paid porn actress Stormy Daniels $130,000 not to discuss her sordid affair with a human orange mass of mediocrity, reportedly complained to folks that the then-reality TV star never reimbursed him for the hush money he paid. According to the Wall Street Journal, shortly before the president started hanging…
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Boxer Jermall Charlo Gets Robbed of $150,000 in Cash and Jewelry by Women Who Are Not IG Models
On Saturday, boxer Jermall Charlo was partying at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club in New York City when a fight broke out around 3 a.m. Sunday. The middleweight fighter, who hasn’t lost a fight in 26 professional bouts, began mixing it up when someone in his group left a Louis Vuitton bag unattended on the table. According…
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Trump’s Random DACA Deadline Is Here, but He’s Too Busy Tweeting About Obama to Care
Way back in September, President Donald Trump set an arbitrary deadline to get the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals bill passed. The bill would grant a means to citizenship to undocumented young people brought to the U.S. as children. The date Trump randomly gave was March 5. In January, Trump refused to sign a bipartisan…
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Fishbone
I’m not going to kill myself. I yelled it out early this morning when my mother woke me up. “I AM NOT GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF!” is exactly how I said it when she came busting into my room demanding that I get my clothes on to go to meet Jesus. Two days ago…
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Either Melania Trump Is the Slovenian Rain Man or She Finessed Her ‘Einstein Visa’
Until I see Melania Trump do anything other than wave and steal speeches from the most extraordinary first lady ever to grace the White House with her presence, then I have a hard time believing that she can do anything other than look like a vaguely alive corpse. So how in all the heat in…
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Here’s How J.R. Smith Got a Last-Minute Suspension Before the Cavs Game (Hint: It Involves a Bowl of Soup)
Cleveland Cavaliers guard J.R. Smith was a late scratch from Thursday’s matchup against the Philadelphia 76ers. Well, it turns out that before the game, Smith threw a bowl of soup at assistant coach Damon Jones, multiple sources with knowledge of the incident told ESPN. Jones, a former Cavs player, must have asked Smith why he…
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Former NFL Wide Receiver Rae Carruth Won’t Try for a Relationship With the Son He Tried to Have Killed
Former Carolina Panther wide receiver Rae Carruth is not a redeemable soul, and thankfully he’s starting to realize this, and won’t try to have a relationship with his 18-year-old son who suffers from cerebral palsy as a result of Carruth’s criminal actions. Let me be clear about this: I don’t hate many people; in fact,…
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Trump, Come Get Your Boy! Vladimir Putin Claims Russia Has Nuclear Weapons That Can’t Be Intercepted
While the president of the United States holds paper-airplane-throwing competitions inside the Oval Office against chief of staff John Kelly and Secretary of Defense James Mattis (yes, Kelly and Mattis manipulated their airplanes so that the president’s paper plane flies farther), Russian president, and America’s play cousin, Vladimir Putin is boasting that he has nuclear…
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Trump Claims Republicans Are Afraid of the NRA; Too Bad He Will Forget This Ever Happened in 3, 2 …
President Donald Trump is batshit crazy, and one of the good things about being batshit crazy is that you don’t have any loyalty to anyone—therefore, anybody can get it. On Wednesday during a televised meeting with lawmakers at the White House, Trump came out swinging against his own “party” (I use the word loosely because…
