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Trump Takes to Twitter to Bash Sexual Assault Accuser Because He’s Trash
When 53 percent of white women vote against their self-interests to elect a reality star to the highest office in the land, then no one can be surprised at the drama that ensues. Once again, President TinyFingers von GrabHands is back to bashing his accusers on social media because that’s really presidential. On Sunday, the…
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Places Where Rae Carruth Can Go, Starting With Hell
Rae Carruth could cure cancer, reduce the price of cable to under $20 a month, end homelessness and discover an ancient vibranium shield proving that Wakanda is real, and it will now and forever be fuck Rae Carruth. For those too young to know, or those too old to care to remember how Carruth earned…
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10 Things I Know About You if You Didn’t Cry Watching Drake’s ‘God’s Plan’ Video
Earlier this month it was reported that Drake, aka Canadian Screech, walked into a Miami grocery store and announced over a bullhorn that the patrons could get whatever they wanted and it was on him. It was a moment. What no one knew was that Drake had actually taken the money that was supposed to…
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White House Refuses to Release Photo of Trump Signing Bill That Overturned Mental Health Gun Restrictions: Report
One of the first acts of Donald Trump’s presidency—which has officially become the undoing of President Barack Obama’s legacy—was to sign a resolution that made it easier for some people with mental health issues to obtain guns. CBS News has attempted some 12 times to get a photograph of the president in action from the…
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#StayWoke: Donald Trump’s Inaugural Committee Paid $26,000,000 to Melania’s Homegirl
So, get this: Six weeks before Donald Trump’s inauguration, Melania Trump’s longtime homegirl, and current senior adviser, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff started a company that received the largest payout from Trump’s inauguration committee. According to the New York Times, Wolkoff created WIS Media Partners of Marina del Rey, Calif., just six weeks before the president was…
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Jeff Sessions’ Speech on Florida School Shooting Is a Nonsensical Symphony of Racist Dog Whistles
Attorney General Jeff Sessions is a genius when it comes to playing the racist dog whistle. During a speech Thursday at a sheriffs’ convention in Washington, D.C., Sessions found a way to bring up criminal records and gang violence while addressing Wednesday’s school shooting in Parkland, Fla., that killed 17 people. “I think effective enforcement…
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Barack Obama Tried to Warn Former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus on How to Handle Donald Trump
Barack Obama knew about being an exceptional president. He also knew what type of asshole was succeeding him, so he tried to give then-White House chief of staff Reince Priebus Repeat a heads-up on what his job would require. You have to tell Donald Trump things that will “piss him off,” Obama reportedly told Priebus,…
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Why Won’t the White House Explain Melania Trump’s Parents’ Immigration Status?
The White House has been very clear from day one that it doesn’t care for immigrants unless the immigrants are from Slovenia and they are the parents of your wife; then the White House doesn’t want to talk about immigration status or “chain migration”—the inflammatory term the White House uses to note how immigrants supposedly…
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Now That Porn Actress Stormy Daniels Can Talk About Her Affair With Donald Trump, No One Cares
We already know what happened between porn star Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump. We know how the two met. We know that Daniels and Trump started fucking shortly after Baron was born in 2006. We know that Trump likes to be spanked with a rolled-up Forbes magazine. We know all we need to know, and…
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Here’s How Much Trump’s Fascist Military Parade Will Cost
If President Gilligan von SlaveTrade is to have his wishes of a grand military parade met, then the cost could range somewhere between $10 million and $30 million, according to the White House budget director. Because this president is the grown-up version of the white kid in The Toy and doesn’t understand how any of…
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