Ranking Member Maxine Waters (D-CA) looks on as Federal Reserve Board Chairwoman Janet Yellen testifies before the House Financial Committee about the State of the economy on July 12, 2017 in Washington, DC. Yellen said the Federal Reserve expects to begin shrinking its $4.5 trillion bond stimulus later this year.
Photo: Pete Marovich (Getty Images)

This weekend, the Justice Department announced that there was no evidence that our alleged president Donald Trump conspired with Russia during the infamous 2016 election.

These findings, courtesy of one Robert S. Mueller III, did not exonerate Trump, but failed to reach a conclusion on whether he definitively obstructed justice. As such, Jesus wept because no indictments will be handed down.

So with this 22 month “witch hunt” finally behind him, Melania’s Baby Daddy has been intolerable ever since.

Between being burped, enjoying some quality tummy time, and fiending off a vicious diaper rash, he spent his weekend leading a chorus of “No collision!” because we expect nothing less from a grown ass child.

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“It was just announced there was no collusion with Russia, the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” he proclaimed from beneath the wing of Air Force One, mere moments removed from liberating a pacifier from his tangerine-toned lips. “There was no obstruction, none whatsoever. It was a complete and total exoneration. It’s a shame that our country had to go through this. It’s a shame that your president had to go through this.”

But while our Kleptocrat-in-Chief has beaten his chest and expressed every intention of relishing his victory lap, Auntie Maxine Waters has other plans—which begin and end with an impassioned refusal to remove her foot from his neck.

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She confirmed that smoke is still welcomed with open arms during a pitstop Sunday on MSNBC’s AM Joy.

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“I want to tell you that this president has a way of trying to get into people’s heads and indoctrinate them,” Auntie Maxine declared. “He’s been saying ‘no collusion, no collusion, no collusion’ over and over again for a long time now and he’s going to try and conclude that this report is proving that there’s no collusion and you have a lot of his sycophants who will take the nod from him and they’ll say the same thing, but we cannot allow them to get away with this.”

“He does this all the time,” she added. “This is not the end of anything.”

House Democrats have pledged to continue investigations via Congress should the results of the report prove insufficient, which she touched on as well.

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“We want full disclosure,” she continued. “The American people deserve to know what our special counsel has discovered in this investigation over 22 months. We don’t want to hear anything about Barr using his discretion to decide what we should see, what we should know and not know. We want the full report. We deserve it, and we are going to keep the pressure on.”

And her colleagues intend to do exactly that.

In a statement, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi denounced Attorney General William Barr’s offer to provide congressional committees with a summary of the report as inadequate and asserted “Congress requires the full report and the underlying documents.”

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While Sen. Chris Coons, a Democratic member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, concluded that while the report might absolve Trump of collusion and other crimes, he’s still at legal risk considering his charity, businesses, and presidential transition operation remain under investigation.

“It’s the end of the beginning,” Coons told reporters on a conference call, “But it’s not the beginning of the end.”

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So yes, while MAGA might declare today a national holiday, trust and believe Auntie Max takes no days off—as Trump will soon find out.