The loving couple.
The loving couple.

Remember back in the '90s, how every single black man was allegedly on the “Down Low” spreading AIDS and bad fashion sense, and black women were all in a tizzy about it? Keith Boykin debunked a lot of that but uber director Bill Duke recently tried to cash in on the hysteria. Well, if you let some folks tell it, things are so bad now that black women are taking black men any way they can get them.


Dwight Eubanks, the hairdresser from The Real Housewives of Atlanta is reportedly engaged to a woman. If you haven’t seen the show, you should know that Eubanks isn’t a little suspect: Dude is full-on napalm with his — not that there’s anything wrong with that. Eubanks says he’s bisexual, though, and I take him at his word. But he goes on to say that he gets more play from women than he does from men.

So wait. Gay men are picking up sisters like that in the black Mecca? Really?

I could dismiss this as bunk if this was only the first time I’d heard such a bold claim from a gay/bisexual man.


When author J.L. “Down Low” King came to Cleveland on his latest book tour this past summer, I sat him down for an interview. Among the things he told me was that not only does he get multiple marriage proposals from women on the regular, but that he puts the MONKEY on the ladies, and a lot of black women -– some famous black women you may have heard of –- are choosing gay/bisexual men because of the perceived lack of good straight black men. They don’t worry about them cheating because, well, you know what else they’re doing, more or less. I called him today and asked him to elaborate.

jimi: King — this is jimi izrael from Cleveland. Happy New Year.

J.L. KING: Hey jimi. What's going on?

jimi: Well, you know that hairdresser on The Real Housewives of Atlanta is supposed to be marrying a woman and—


jimi: Yeah. Is this like some new kind of thing bubbling under?

KING: Not at all. It comes down to the fact that black people are realizing that they just want to be happy and aren’t all caught up in the sexual orientation of it. Black women are getting older, looking around and seeing there are no good black men left, then looking at the Obamas and saying ‘I want that.’ So they find themselves a man who is handsome, clean and, you know, FASHIONABLE, who can be close to them like a girlfriend companion, and they find in him the perfect mate. See, now she has someone who can be a friend, and they can go be a couple in every way except when it’s time to go to bed.



I’ve heard black women say jokingly that in Atlanta, whether you choose one or not, you are probably dating a gay or bisexual man. It has always just struck me as more Oprah-esque misandry intent on demonizing all black men by casting them as indiscriminate sex freaks.  But I want to hear from my ATL folks and black women everywhere -– is it that bad out there like that where you would knowingly hook-up with a gay dude?


Single Father, Author, Screenwriter, Award-Winning Journalist, NPR Moderator, Lecturer and College Professor. Habitual Line-Stepper

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