In today’s episode of Uh...Karen, I’m Pretty Sure You Just Said the Quiet Part Out Loud, an altercation that occurred in Northern California’s Discovery Bay between a Black family and a racist AF white woman was recorded and posted to social media.
The video shows an elderly white woman—who the family identified as Adana Dean, according to ABC 7—armed with a taser and standing at the family’s door complaining about their dog having been loose and attacking her dog, which she was clutching under her arm, and which I can only imagine smells like mothballs, sour milk and Matlock reruns. A Black man—identified as Gerritt Jones—can be heard arguing with the woman, denying that their dog did anything to hers and asking her relatively nicely to get the hell on.
Because suburban white people tend to think they’re in charge of literally everything, the Dean of Klan College (see what I did there?) threatened to call the police and then spoke to Jones like she had some kind of authority over him saying, “I don’t want to see that dog outside.”
Jones responded by saying, “Well I don’t want to see your old wrinkly, bologna-smelling-ass anywhere but under a gravestone, but we don’t always get what we want!”
Sorry, that’s not Jones, that’s actually how I responded in my head.
“Well, he’s going to be outside,” Jones said. “I have a right to have him just like every other person in here. He ain’t done nothing to you, he ain’t done nothing to your dog.”
After the Dean of LNU (Lynch a Negro University) accused the man of “being nasty,” she decided to take a deep dive off the cliff of Mt. Caucasity and said, “You know what? You’re a Black person in a white neighborhood and you’re acting like one. Why don’t you act like a white person in a white neighborhood?”
First of all, you’re racist. Second of all, ya dog is racist. Third, YOU GOT A WHOLE DOG AND ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT A DOG AND YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO DOG WHISTLE YOUR BLATANT RACISM??
Anyway, Dean repeated the “act like a white person” line after Jones’ sister, Jarielle, heard the commotion and came to the door to see what was going on.
“You know what? You guys are acting like Black people and you should be acting like white people,” she said again.
Listen: I’m really trying to give the Dean of Nazi Pride Technical College for Underachieving Bigots the benefit of the doubt and assume that by “acting like white people” she just means she wants more neighbors who bathe bi-weekly and bring green bean casserole and Triscuits to cookouts they weren’t invited to. But her sentiments were much more racist than that.
Dean went on to tell the family—who were growing increasingly impatient, though they were still way better than me—that she was raised in Oklahoma City “where there were tons of Black people.”
Jarielle interrupted whatever white nonsense-infused anecdote Dean was about to tell regarding Oklahoma City negroes and asked her to repeat her earlier comments.
“We’re acting like what?” Jarielle asked.
“You’re acting like
niggers people who aren’t normal,” Dean responded.
Later in the video, Jones pointed out that Dean—who, by the way, has been brandishing a taser and pointing it at people the entire time she was at the family’s door—petted the dog she claimed attacked her dog earlier that day.
“I didn’t pet the dog, I just petted the dog because I wanted to see if he was OK,” she responded sounding like Rick James on Chappelle’s Show denying and admitting to grinding his feet into Eddie Murphy’s couch.
The video cuts to earlier footage showing Dean talking to Jones and...well...she does appear to be petting his dog.