I think I'll pass on Carrot Top-like eyebrows.

Just one more pound and I can shout I LOST 25 POUNDS!

A single, lousy pound. I’ve been gaining and losing this same pound for the past two weeks. I’d bounce up about two pounds, then drop one, leaving this same, crazy pound. I did lose it once, but didn’t say anything because the next day was a road trip, and that means road food. Glad I didn’t.

April, you’ll recall, was The Month from Hell. Lots of trips, lots of stress, lots of money evaporating like dry ice on a hot day. Blame it on the Mercury retrograde.

Despite a few trials, May feels more energetic and positive. So I fully expect to not only move from 271 pounds to 270 soon, but to 265 before month’s end.

Dare to bet against me? I didn’t think so.

I remember 265. I was stuck there for about 18 months not too long ago. For all of 2008 and part of 2009, I hung out in the 260s, no matter what I did, it seemed. I felt pretty awful, bloated, icky. And now I’m actually looking forward to 265. And when I reach 245, I’ll be ready to throw a party, because that’s the big 50-pound mark. Of all the ways I’ve been thinking about celebrating that benchmark, getting “permanent” eyebrows tops the list.

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Yes, permanent makeup, as in tattooed on. But by a well-regarded professional with a track record of perfection. Don’t want to emerge looking like The Joker, circa 1960s, Phyllis Diller or Carrot Top. I’ve been studying the trend for a couple of years, and it’s something I definitely want. It’s not that I dislike my own, natural eyebrows. I just don’t have any. It would be great to one day roll out of bed in the morning with eyebrows on.

As for 25 pounds, I haven’t yet figured out what to do to celebrate. I could definitely use more clothes. Recently my capris have been slipping uncomfortably low, and they’re a little baggy in the back. Might be time to come down a size.

These are good problems to have.

How long does getting thin take?  ~  from Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne

Leslie J. Ansley is an award-winning journalist and entrepreneur who blogs daily for TheRoot. She lives in Raleigh, NC.