President Obama said last night that the days of the high school drop-out are over and recent numbers suggest he may be right, but whatever, man—- clearly he has not explored all the possibilities. Talking meatpies like Gerald Bracey over at HuffPo trumpet the virtues of short-term job training as an alternative to short-circuit dropping out altogether and there's something to be said for hand-cramping tradework, robotic data entry and mindless paper-shuffling—- but not much. I dropped out of high school, but sold out! and copped a few degrees down the line.
So, for those kids thinking about dropping out, don't let some college educated elitist discourage you. Who does Obama think he is? Bracey's obviously has no line on the Drop Out Life either. Keep it grimey, I say. If you are geeked about leaving the grind of high school for the glamourous life of, uh… hmm… whatever or thinking about bailing out of undergrad—well, there are probably at least ten good reasons to go for it. But because I'm that dude, and I work for YOU, I present, as a public service:
15 (!) Good/Great Reasons to Drop Out
1) You don't like shrimp that much anyways.
2) Finishing what you started = overrated.
3) Your parent never thought you'd amount to anything, and it would be disrespectful to prove them wrong.
4) Eating everyday is luxurious and wasteful —- WTF?
5) Who needs an apartment with a bedroom? Get a matress and WetNap —- now THAT's gangster!
6) Ambition is for white people. Errbody knows that.
7) Anybody that wants you to do better just won't love you for being YOU.
8) If you aim low, how can you miss? C'mon.
9) Street cred > Good Credit.
10) Outsmart EVERYBODY and sell plasma. 'Cause you a HUSTLA, homie.
12) If you just HAVE to eat, most fast food jobs come with a free meal. Free catfish nuggets?! I know, right!?
13) Everyone lies at high school reunions anyways. So just say you went to Harvard.
14) Marshall's is always hiring, and they never check your application.
15) You're gonna be the first President to never graduate from high school. Then, you'll show 'em.
Single Father, Author, Screenwriter, Award-Winning Journalist, NPR Moderator, Lecturer and College Professor. Habitual Line-Stepper