When You Share Your Mess With the Public, the Public Will Share (and Talk About and Joke About) Your Mess. Duh!

Desus Nice and Kid Mero (inset) contemplate DJ Envy with his wife, Gia Casey (third from left), on The Real, trying to contain the damage.
Desus Nice and Kid Mero (inset) contemplate DJ Envy with his wife, Gia Casey (third from left), on The Real, trying to contain the damage.
Screenshot: Desus & Mero (YouTube)

During their now viral appearance on The Breakfast Club Thursday morning—and after DJ Envy pulled the greatest stunt of illogical beige rage since G Money in New Jack City—Kid Mero appeared to throw DJ Envy a bone.


While admitting that husbands can (and should) be sensitive about their wives, he shared a story about chasing down a man who almost hit and cursed his wife at a crosswalk (it starts around the 6:30 mark):

When Mero was done with his story, Charlamagne tha God said (paraphrasing), “Nah ... that ain’t the same thing.” Which is right. Confronting a man who almost killed your wife and child isn’t the same as confronting the guy who made a throwaway joke about a situation you caused. The latent point, however, is that they both exist on the same spectrum of justifiable responses to disrespect, just on different ends of it.

They do not.

Look, as anyone who has ever been in a committed romantic relationship knows, sometimes adversity happens. Sometimes it’s external, and sometimes it’s caused by the actions of one (or both) of the people in the relationship. Shit happens, and how you choose to deal with it is up to you as a couple.

But when that self-induced adversity hits and you decide to share it with the public—whether on TV or radio or in a status message or a tweet—people might form opinions. People might have commentary. People might make jokes. People might take sides. People might decide to just not fuck with you anymore.

Naturally, if this happens, you might be in your feelings. Especially if you’ve worked past the adversity. (Or at least you’re telling people you have.) And this is your right! Feelings are good! Yay, feelings! But you’re no longer on the justifiable-response spectrum. You jumped off of it when you decided to give everyone a snapshot of your mess, inviting us into what you now wish was private, and now you just have to swallow those feelings or maybe take a spa day or something. Your rights are gone.


And that’s all I have to say about that!

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)



A part of me wonders if there is some other reason he was soooo salty. I mean that joke truly was throwaway and there has to be worse that was said about that whole situation. The response did not go with the actions. He was on some other level!