When Men Put You in the Homegirl Zone

In a piece for Clutch magazine, Jamilah Lemieux muses about options for "cool girls" who are overlooked as romantic partners and blocked from the "dating lane."

I've known a lot of guys who have praised the 'cool' girls in their circles for their relatability, for being down-to-earth and a refreshing alternative to the pretentious, superficial women of the world … only to run out and lavish their romantic attentions on those same villainesses! For shame. And then they come back around and complain to the down chicks when it all goes awry. A vicious cycle, is it not? But to be entirely fair, this is much like the plight of the "nice" guy who feels that he is put on the platonic pedestal in lieu of the "bad" boy who gets all the lovin'.  Same script, different cast.

My personal bad experience came during the time in which I could talk about Hip-Hop with the same passion and knowledge as the dudes, yet got passed over for the girls who'd much sooner listen to Destiny's Child than A Tribe Called Quest. Many of these dudes were also very serious about being 'righteous, Asiatic Black kings,' but when it came girlfriend choosing time, they had the same Eurocentric influences in their tastes as the other guys–opting for long, straight hair over locs that looked like their own. The chicks they put on a pedestal often represented the values/aesthetics they claimed to oppose …


Read Jamilah Lemieux's entire piece at Clutch magazine.

The Root aims to foster and advance conversations about issues to the black Diaspora by presenting a variety of opinions from all perspectives, whether or not those opinions are shared by our editorial staff.

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