Very Smart Brothas
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Did Mike Tomlin Pull Some Black-Ass Judo With His Answer to Why the Steelers Stayed in the Locker Room?
The present-day Pittsburgh Steelers exist as a paradox. They have been led, for the last 11 years, by a black coach who was considered for the position in large part because of the Rooney Rule—a policy requiring NFL teams to interview minority candidates for coaching and upper-management positions. The rule is named after Dan Rooney—the…
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Dotard in Chief Calls the Mothers of Peaceful NFL Protesters ‘Bitches’
In an unhinged rant while stumping for Republican Sen. Luther Strange of Alabama, Darth Cheeto went Full Darth Cheeto (again) and blamed the NFL’s declining ratings on protesting and … penalties, called for protesting NFL players to be fired, and asked the crowd if they’d “love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody…
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Piers Morgan Is Allowed to Say ‘Nigga’ if We’re Allowed to Smack the Pumpkin Spice out of Him When He Does
Caucasoid Pez dispenser dipped in a vat of rancid Hellmann’s Piers Morgan asked and answered the world’s most disingenuous question yesterday in a column that addressed a clip of University of New Hampshire sorority girls singing along to Kanye West’s “Gold Digger.” Morgan, a flaccid portmanteau of Alfred from Batman and dead Andrew Breitbart, blamed…
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Types of Black Privilege, Ranked
20. Just got a fresh shape-up yesterday and everyone’s treating you like you’re a half-inch taller than you actually are privilege 19. While some niggas have to dip themselves in a vat of Palmer’s 3.5-ounce Cocoa Butter Formula every morning just to leave the house, you somehow just never get ashy privilege (an underrated privilege)…
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The Saga of My Stolen Car: Shenanigans Ensue
The story of my stolen car doesn’t begin two weeks ago, when it was actually stolen. Like most stories, it’s much deeper than that. That’s what she said. Ahem. The story of my stolen car really begins back in August of 2012, a few months after I made the biggest purchase of my life: my…
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Is ‘Moist’ the Worst Word in the English Language? (Hint: Yes, Yes It Is)
Of the various reactions to that “black men are the whites of blacks” thing I wrote and shit yesterday, the most entertaining negative comments have been those that include the word “moist.” I’ve been, in the last 24 hours, a “moist man,” a “moist-ass motherfucker” and a “moist feminist,” and someone said something about me…
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The Faces of the Zimbabwean Delegation Listening to Trump Speak Are the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe is a terrible person. He’s stolen elections, he’s bankrupted the country’s economy, he’s murdered citizens and his wife beats models with extension cords (???), and the world will be a better place when he’s dead. (Speaking of which, he’s 93 years old, but don’t allow that to give you hope, because…
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Ask Agatha: Should I Ignore Her When She Says There’s No Future for Us?
Landon from Seattle asks: After nearly a year and a half of court-ordered no contact between the mother of my child and me, I recently received an email from her stating that she wanted us to communicate better, if only to show our child that we don’t hate each other. In said email, she also…