Very Smart Brothas
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What the Hell Happened to The Breaks?
As a hip-hop head who grew up in the ’80s and ’90s, I pretty much consume all things related to the time period. If there’s a documentary about hip-hop, I’m watching it. I devoured Netflix’s bank-busting The Get Down and loved the first half so much that I implored everybody to get down with The…
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The Cop Suing James Blake for Defamation After Racially Profiling and Assaulting Him Is the Whitest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
Yesterday evening, my not-quite-2-year-old daughter asked for a piece of spicy shrimp that I was eating. I knew she wouldn’t like it, so I shook my head and told her, “Trust me, little baby person, you won’t like this.” Unconvinced, she continued to ask—and for context, her asking is just her looking at me and…
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I Played 2-Hand Touch Football This Weekend. I’m Probably Not Doing That Shit Again
On Saturday, Sept. 30, 2017, I engaged in a lighthearted game of two-on-two touch football with a couple of my closest friends and the 11-year-old son of one of them. We played to a tie (we were playing to 2). One of my friends is in phenomenal shape; he’s contemplating competing in USA Track &…
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Please Stop Assuming Stephen Paddock Must Have Been ‘Mentally Ill’
I used to be deathly afraid of being outed about my mental-health struggles. What if I got a speeding ticket and ended up on the front page of my local paper? Award-winning writer found with unknown crazy-people prescription pills in car while driving with child! I could get into a car accident or curse out…
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How Many (White) People Have to Die Before America Gives a Damn About Its Gun Problem?
At the time of writing, the death toll from the Las Vegas terrorist attack stands at 58—a number that will undoubtedly rise as the day continues and may continue to rise for the following week(s). These people and several hundred others were allegedly shot by 64-year-old Stephen Paddock as he took position on the 32nd…
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I’m Scared to Death I Won’t Be Able to Protect My 2-Year-Old Daughter From Her Own Country
Full disclosure: The headline is a lie. My daughter isn’t actually 2 years old yet. She’ll be 2 next month. But I remember, before she was born, making fun of parents who’d tell you their child’s age in months instead of years. And then I became one of those parents. So today, this is me…
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‘Grits With Sugar’ Are the White People of Breakfast Grains and Hot Cereals
I grew up in a household where all breakfast grains and hot cereals mattered. Oatmeal? Mattered. Cream of Wheat? Mattered. Grits? Mattered. Ralston? Mattered. And just in case the last two sentences confused you, know that 1) “Ralston” is not a typo because 2) Ralston is a very yummy and grainy hot cereal that 3)…
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Everyone Is Stupid. When Did Everyone Get So Stupid? Has Everyone Always Been This Stupid?
Ray Lewis dresses like a guilty man. This is what immediately came to mind yesterday as I was reading that the Baltimore Ravens have had to hire extra security for the statue of Lewis outside of M&T Bank Stadium. Lewis, of course, knelt during the national anthem before Baltimore’s game in London—an act that was…
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What We’re Gonna Do When the Revolution Comes
I’ve recently come across some articles and heard the latest theories about the phenomenon of white anxiety as a precursor to the rise of the era of Trump and Trumpism. Essentially, there’s an overwhelming sense of dread that, based on impending demographic trends, has old white people especially worried about their place in the food…
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Dear College Choice, Who Is You and Why Come Your HBCU Rankings Don’t Make No Damn Sense?
Dear College Choice, Hi. What the fuck, B? I was recently made privy to your “Best Historically Black Colleges & Universities for 2017” list. I do not know when you dropped this list. Real talk, it doesn’t matter, but I have some very real questions about your rankings. Basically, how in the holy hell did…