Very Smart Brothas
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Dear People Who Created The Prisma App, You're The Real MVP.
You may not know this about me, but in my soul, I’m an artist. At my core, I’m a musician, a photographer, a painter, a writer, a poet, etc. I’m all of the arts. Ain’t no art that I ain’t attempted to art. A thug even tried to scrapbook once until I realized that thugs don’t…
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The Trailer For Same Kind Of Different As Me Is Exactly Why White People Must Be Stopped
When the Gods decide to show favor to us, it is a sin not to rejoice and exult in your fortune. It is also necessary that when given this unexpected bout of grace, its shared so that others can receive and partake in the good. So when Dolezal, the Goddess of Post-Racial Fuckshit, decided to…
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We Didn't Deserve Michelle Obama: A Post-Apocalyptic Tale Of Immortan Trump And American Stupidity
220 years from now, when Earth finally starts to recover from the post-apocalyptic hellscape of the 22nd century, the planet’s remaining survivors will begin emerge from their nested catacombs near the Earth’s core. They will be a stark and severe people; the unrelenting sobriety of their collective countenances will both mimic the land and be…
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Ask Agatha: "I'm Losing My Best Friend To Her Boyfriend. What Should I Do?"
Jaye from San Francisco, CA asks: My best friend, my ace boon coon, the Nettie to my Celie lives about two hours away from me. She is a hardworking educator so I rarely get to see her (about once a month, if that, which is a long time in best friend years). Anyhow when she…
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So, Let's Talk About This Frank Ocean "Blonde/Blond" Album.
Pigs flew and hell froze over for a weekend as Frank Ocean finally dropped not one, but two projects with his long form video “Endless” and his looooooooooong anticipated follow up to Channel Orange, Blonde, which is stylized as Blond according to every musical publication. Thing is, if it’s labeled as Blond on the cover, why…
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What's The "Blackest" Last Name? Washington, Jefferson, Jackson, Or Jenkins?
What’s The “Blackest” Last Name? It’s a question that has plagued us for forever. (And by “us” I mean “me” and by “forever” I mean “since like Wednesday, when I first thought about writing this.”) Out of all of America’s most popular surnames, which is the “Blackest?” And it’s a question that leads to other…
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How Ryan Lochte Is The Worst Type Of "White Boy Bro," Explained
Who is Ryan Lochte? Ryan Lochte is a reanimated collection of discarded beer pong red cups repurposed and stuffed into a Von Dutch trucker hat. He can also swim really, really fast. Where is he from? Rochester, NY. Which is a poor man’s Buffalo. Which is a poor man’s Cleveland. Which is a poor man’s…
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This Sorority Recruitment Video Is The Scariest Fucking Thing I've Ever Seen And Will Give You Nightmares
There really isn’t much I can say to describe the sublime horror captured on this video. Except perhaps that it’s all there. In 39 seconds of film, the University of Texas’s Alpha Delta Pi chapter somehow managed to incorporate every element of every nightmare I’ve ever had. There’s the preternaturally and eerily chipper voices. Like a…
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Experience A Rape Trial Through The Perspective Of A Victim
You’ve just experienced the worst night of your life. Maybe you remember all of the details, maybe you don’t. And truly, both circumstances are a unique brand of unfathomable hell. Either the detailed knowledge of all the ways that you have been irrevocably violated seared into your brain for eternity. Or a gaping space of…
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Dear Men Who Very Obviously Hate Women: Do Yourselves A Favor And Just Admit It!
The idea that overt and unambiguous racism is preferable to subtler forms of prejudice is not a terribly uncommon one among Black people. Of course, like Tyga’s music and soft chicken wings, all racism is really bad. But if given the choice between clear racism and concealed and/or confusing racism, many of us (myself included) would choose…