University of North Texas in Denton, Tex. November 1, 2017

A University of North Texas official and future candidate for dean of white fragility took to Twitter to protest an incredibly racist petition circulating around the campus to name one of the college’s new buildings after a woman of color.

UNT Student Government Association Sen. Misaki Collins recently posted a petition online to get signatures in support of having the campus name a planned residence hall after a woman of color. Despite the fact that the school is majority-minority, meaning that more minorities attend the school than do whites, every building on campus is named after white men except two, named for white women.

As Collins’ petition circulated, she received an email from Nancy Kolsti, a spokeswoman for the university and a candidate for an honorary doctorate in Beckyology. The email stated that the petition imposed “a quota system, and, to me, that is a form of reverse racism.”

Kolsti added: “UNT buildings should be named after individuals who are deserving of such an honor—not individuals who are chosen to fill a quota system that you think the university should have because you feel that it is important ‘to promote diversity in every aspect of the student experience.’”

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Another university spokesperson whose vision is not blurred from the teary-eyed butt-hurtedness of honoring someone other than a white person responded to the controversy in a manner consistent with not being a racist douchebag upset over something so insignificant.

“The university believes that the naming of our buildings and how our campus appears are very much a part of the student experience and should reflect the core values we hold dear,” UNT spokesperson Kelley Reese said regarding Kolsti’s email.

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As one who is often accused of reverse racism, I’d like to advise Misaki Collins on the new brand of colonizers who cast allegations of reverse racism, equating stupid shit like naming buildings or using the word “wypipo” with police officers’ disproportionate shooting of black boys in the face, banks’ systematic rejection of black mortgage applications or the continued underfunding of schools in black neighborhoods.

Yeah, it’s all the same.

Reese also said that Kolsti was expressing her view as a private citizen, not as a university official ... even though Kolsti was talking about the school.

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And is employed by the university.

And sent the original message from her university email address.

Kolsti obviously assumed that the new building would be named in her honor. I have no evidence of this, but why else would she care who the building is named after? I know what you’re thinking: “Well, her name is Nancy!”

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Yes, while it is true that our research shows that 86 percent of all Nancys want to speak to the manager, the only reason anyone would care about something so trivial is that she just didn’t like women of color and was using the term “reverse racism” as a tactic to stop diversity, which would be ...

Wait, I think I just discovered the first case of reverse reverse racism. I’m pretty sure they have to name something after me for this.

See you in class at the Michael Harriot School of Wypipology.