Tomcat Licorice Tells Michelle Obama to ‘Sit Down,’ And She Really Don’t Want Those Problems

Illustration for article titled Tomcat Licorice Tells Michelle Obama to ‘Sit Down,’ And She Really Don’t Want Those Problems
Screenshot: ABC News (YouTube)

Earlier today, Tyrannosaurus Lobotomy crawled from out of her loft space in a Lululemon changing room trash can to tweet that Michelle Obama should “sit down” because Obama referred to her husband, Barack Obama, as a great president during a rally in Las Vegas.


Of course, a trash person formulating trash thoughts and opening their trash mouth to allow trash words to escape their trash tongue is about as predictable as a burp after a big gulp. Tadpole Lice is nothing but predictable, and this tweet would seem to fall under “Tiger Lockjaw goes Tiger Lockjaw.” But this time, Tornado Lupus set her sights on the wrong person.

Now, Michelle Obama (probably) isn’t going to respond to Typhoid Laboratory because that would require her to know who Tapeworm Lavatory is, and I doubt she does. Also, there’s that whole “when they go low, we go high“ thing.

But what Testicular Lettuce doesn’t realize is that there are some things we just ain’t going to allow her to do. Enter our homes. Make eye contact with our children. Taste our food. Love our Jesus. And, most notably, come at Michelle Obama.

So anyway, Trashcan Leprechaun, if you’re reading this, please continue to just eat your ashy food and stay your ass in your crawl space. Just because if we ever find ourselves in need of Tablet Leprosy, we’ll know where to find you.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)


Gameface doesn`t play nice with others

Bitch.... Michelle O accomplished more in her life BEFORE she became first lady than you and your whole tornado bait trailer trash family have ever even read about. Double Ivy League Graduate. Lawyer. Hospital Administrator. Mother. Go getter. Accomplisher of many things, not the least of which is to be married to a devoted husband for umpteen years and ducking bullshit spewers like your bland-ass no talent melanin challenged fired by Glen Beck mediocre ass. Michelle doesn’t need to respond to this bitch. That would be like the shoe talking to the shit it stepped in to understand why its still clinging to it. Fuck off Tammy.