NYT: John Madden Retires; Buzz Uncertain Where We'll Get 'Booms', 'Thwacks' From
BBC: Into Thin Air: Kenya 'Will Try Somali Pirates'
Suggested Reading
Forbes: Because They're Nothing If Not Haters. Wall St. Shrugs Off JPMorgan's Gains
Reuters: Faster Than a Speeding Bullet! Obama Unveils High-Speed Rail Plans
NYDN: Gov. Paterson Introduces Legislation to Legalize Gay Marriage
BB: Nokia Aims to Win Market Share; Buzz Unaware Nokia Still Existed
VOA: Russia Ends Operations in Chechnya Saying "Don't Make Us Come Back Here"
ABC: Even the Mall Isn't Safe: Foreclosures Strike Malls; Orange Julius, Spencer's in Jeopardy
CNN: Hulk Hogan Says He Could've OJ'd his Ex, Is Immediately Hit With Steel Folding Chair
BET: Mumia Supporters Pull Black Card, Implore Obama for Help
MH: Worked into a Lather, Teabaggers Look to Sack Tax Day; Some Satisfied, Others Left Feeling Blue
CNN: Dear Pirates, We're Developing Guns That'll Heat You Up from 5,280 Ft. 5,280.
USAT: Army Officials: Brain Injuries Overdiagnosed, Trauma from Concussive Explosives All in GIs' Heads
NYT: NSA Overstepped Legal Bounds, Still Urge You to Stay on the Grid While They 'Clear Up' the Issue
AJE: Abuse Claim Made Against Gitmo Guards; US Silent While…Hey the Obamas Have A New Dog!
BBC: India Goes to the Polls; Adam Lambert Considered a Dark Horse Favorite
WP: Obama Ballerific, Makes $2.6M Off Books; Uses Prez Check As Shoe Money
FOX: Suleman Wants to Trademark 'Octomom', Lease Out Uterus with Option to Buy
BET: Whites Overtaking Blacks on Drug Sentences (We Understand the Urge to Gloat, But Don't)
ESPN: Without King James, Lebrons Become Cavs Again and Promptly Lose
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