NYT: It's Foreign Night at Club US! Obama Pushes for Drink Specials, Immigration Before 11
BBC: 'Good' Baby Fat Keeps Adults Slim; America Chock Full of Naughty Babies
AP: In a Move Not to Be Confused with a Vendetta, French Agency Accuses Armstrong of Doping
NYDN: Obama Gets His Lost Tribe On, Will Celebrate First Presidential Seder
Reuters: HIV Treatment Should Start Earlier; Buzz Commentary Remains on Side of Decency
WP: Captain Still Held By Pirates; US Apparently Negotiates at Sea but Not Land
NYT: Roger Cohen Thinks Israel is Crying Wolf; Buzz Says, "Whaaaaaaat?!"
SJMN: SoCal Officers Targeted Black Barbershops, Say "Well We Can't Very Well Raid the Prisons!"
CBS: HBCU Sued by Three White Faculty Members; Cite Bakke v. Regents, First OJ Verdict as Inspiration
BB: Wal-Mart March Sales Fall Short; See Only Procter & Gamble in Same Galaxy, Recall Dominance
CNN: Iran Prez Proud of Nuclear Progress; Russia Dusts Off Shine Box
WP: Studies Find a Way Adults Can Fight Obesity; Proof We'll Study ANYTHING
CBS: Same-Sex Marriage Legalization Inevitable? Not If Bubba and 'Em Have Any Say So
BG: Prez Announces Upgrades to Vet Coverage; PETA Momentarily Hype
MW: Wells Fargo Chooses Not to Participate in Recession; Post Record 1st Quarter Profit
AP: Georgian Protestors Urge Prez to Resign; Buzz Guesses Headline Could Be Read Both Ways
Deadspin: Bonfire of the Inanities: "WOOOO, We're Champs! Oh Barnacle, I'm All Ablaze!"