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This Has to be the Most Bizarre Trump Story of All Time

Illustration for article titled This Has to be the Most Bizarre Trump Story of All Time
Photo: Sarah Silbiger (Getty Images)

I still can’t believe that this story is true even from this Washington Football Team-ass administration, but apparently, Trump wanted to pull a stunt so outrageous that even his New York Jets-ass administration was like “Nah, Slim. You bugging the fuck out.”

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President COVID-45 reportedly pitched this idea while COVID-19 was running through his body like the Kardashians at an NBA All-star game. Apparently, the president of people who watch unboxing videos on YouTube wanted to pull this stunt where he’d walk out of the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center—where he’d been for a few days after testing positive for the coronavirus—and appear weak and feeble only to rip open his shirt to reveal a Superman T-shirt, according to the New York Times.

If this WWE-ass, fake Hulkamania-ass...Wait...Ford F-150 America, this is y’all president?

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And this embarrassment still may be COVID-19 contagious despite his doctor’s note and his insistence that he’s better.

From Business Insider:

Trump announced he was diagnosed with the coronavirus on Friday, October 2. By the next night, he was transported to Walter Reed and began taking remdesivir, an anti-viral drug. He was also given an experimental antibody cocktail from the drugmaker Regeneron, and later placed on the steroid dexamethasone.

During Trump’s three-day stay at the hospital, contradicting narratives on his prognosis emerged. Unnamed Trump advisors and other associates reportedly described him as being “very tired, very fatigued and having some trouble breathing,” according to CNN. Others have claimed the rumors were exaggerated.

The uncertainty of Trump’s condition was exacerbated after White House physician Sean Conley gave differing timelines for the president’s infection. Conley initially claimed that Trump’s condition was improving after a 72-hour diagnosis, which meant he would have been diagnosed on Wednesday, September 30. He later released a statement saying he “incorrectly” stated the timeline.

At the time, Conley also dodged several important questions pertaining to Trump’s diagnosis, including whether the president received supplemental oxygen.

And don’t forget President Untanned Rumpus briefly left the hospital Oct. 4 to do a coronavirus driveby in the presidential SUV to wave to his supporters. And since being released, he’s been dropping videos for his upcoming mixtape “WAP!-White Anglo Saxon President.” And he’s expected to take the coronavirus show on the road as he’s scheduled to host several racism pep rallies ahead of the Nov. 3 election, Business Insider reports.

“Don’t let it dominate you,” Trump said in a video that totally looked photoshopped but the White House swears it wasn’t. “Don’t be afraid of it. You’re going to beat it.”

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As it stands some 210,000 people have died of the coronavirus in the U.S.

But this is Manwich America’s superhero.

Senior Editor @ The Root, boxes outside my weight class, when they go low, you go lower.

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DISCUSSION

etzell1
Bae Bae Watt

The plan was only thwarted because WalMart doesn’t carry sizes above 5X.