This Belly Flop Contest Into a Pool of Mayonnaise Is the Best-Ever Example of ‘That’s Some White-People Shit’

Twitter screenshot
Twitter screenshot

It’s hard to assign an accurate definition for the oft-employed phrase “That’s some white people shit” because, well, the best-possible definition is located within the phrase. “That’s some white people shit” literally means, “That’s some shit so exclusive to whiteness that it deserves its own phrase.”


But, also, it’s easier to list things that would qualify as “white-people shit” than to explain what “white-people shit” means. For instance, eating cottage cheese straight from the cup is something that black people can definitely do if we want to—there are no racial barriers to entry with cottage cheese consumption—and I’m sure it’s been done by a few cheese-loving niggas before in the past. But it’s some “white-people shit” because ... well ... it’s just some “white-people shit,” and that’s that.

Kissing dogs and cats and baby elephants in the mouth also qualifies. As do American-flag bumper stickers, showers with no washcloths, cussing out police officers, remaining unarrested and unmurdered after cussing out said police officers, and dozens more things I’m neglecting to mention.

But if you’re still not sure about what “That’s some white people shit” means, what happened during a Jacksonville Jaguars tailgating party Sunday should alleviate your confusion.

You will never find a better example of uncut and unfettered white-people shit than a group of white NFL fans in Jacksonville, Fla., thinking it’s a good idea to 1) buy enough mayonnaise to fill a small pool, 2) fill said pool with said mayonnaise and 3) have a contest to see who’d be the best at diving in said mayonnaise-filled pool. (Also, according to the headline in this Deadspin piece about it, it was 87 degrees in Jacksonville yesterday.) This is literally peak mayo.

Also, you might have noticed in that clip that there are black people there, which would seem to negate the sheer whiteness of the mayo dive. But whenever some aggressively and unusually white whiteness is about to happen, all black people within a 5-mile radius are required to witness and report on it, just so we have a more thorough understanding of the “That’s some white-people shit” spectrum.


Those niggas weren’t down. They were documenting.

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, and the author of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker (Ecco/HarperCollins)



This is dumb, nasty, and wasteful AF. Rolling around in mayonnaise on a hot-ass day. Can you imagine the smell? [gags]