The 2018 Single-Life Reboot for Your Best Year Ever


We made it through Christmas, and if you are anything like me, you are glad that shit is over with. Now, with just five days left in 2017, it’s time to prepare ourselves for the new year by clearing out the old stuff and starting up new habits that will make 2018 the best year to be single yet.


I was working on some of these tasks myself, and I thought, “Why not share this with my fellow singles who may be struggling with how to jump-start the new year with a bang?”

Reevaluate your hotation roster list of prospects.

Taking stock of your current hotation roster list of prospects and thinning the herd is a necessity going into the new year. No sense in dragging any of that dead weight along with you.

Start with your phone. Clear out all the text messages and delete all the people you don’t need to talk to or hear from again. This includes those people who are always texting you saying they want to see you, but they never follow through. Delete their texts and delete their number. Start fresh in the new year.

Also? Get rid of the ones you are keeping around for no reason at all. If there isn’t some mutually beneficial reason for them to be there, let it go. Make room on the bench for a fresh prospect.

Spend some time alone.

This might seem obvious, but for some people, it’s hard to accomplish during the holidays.


Do take some time to be alone and reflect on what you want from your love life (if anything) in 2018. Whether it’s to find one person to settle down with or gather a new passel of meat, know exactly what it is you want so you can go into the new year with purpose.

I’m a list-maker. I write lots of lists, and I usually write a list of what can stay and what needs to go when the new year comes.


Maybe 2018 is the year you decide you want to try being celibate. I’ve done a year of celibacy before, and it was very cleansing. It made me acutely aware of what I would and would not accept from lovers going forward.

Speaking of knowing what you want from lovers, in that time alone …

Get to know yourself. 

I mean this in the biblical sense. There are people who preach against masturbation, but fuck those people. They probably still don’t know what feels good to them, and that’s why they are hating on you.


Touch yourself. Feel yourself. Find the places that feel good. Go into 2018 fully ready and able to vocalize to your current and prospective lovers what feels good and what doesn’t. You can thank me later.

Take advantage of the sales and buy yourself something sexy.

Pretty much every store is having some sort of after-Christmas sale. Go take advantage of these deals and get yourself something that makes you feel good, even if it’s just a nice jar of body butter, a $6 silver bullet or a new pair of boxers.


Listen, you can’t expect anyone to want to love on you if you are unwilling or unable to love on yourself, so start there first. There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to something nice. Bonus points if it works on your lover, or lovers, too.

Remember that a love-life reboot can come at any time of the year.

Sure, this post is timely because we are nearing the end of 2017, but you can reboot your love life at any time of the year using this same list. Sometimes we need it in spring when the season changes. Sometimes we need it when summer is over and we are done having our fun.


The thing to keep in mind is that we should constantly be re-evaluating things when we are single. Our reasons for being single may change. Our wants may change. Our needs may change.

The only constant is keeping ourselves first and taking care of ourselves and our own needs. Whether those needs are a new toy, a new lover or a new lease on life, knowing when we need the change is most important.


The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Go into 2018 trying something new.

You’ll be better for it.

News Editor for The Root. I said what I said. Period.


There are people who preach against masturbation, but fuck those people.

Sometimes, you confuse me, Monique.