Contrary to popular belief, there’s still plenty of summer left.
That means that even though we’ve spent the past couple of months living our best lives, there’s still ample time to embarrass our ancestors with gratuitous yacht parties and questionable decision-making. As such, I want you out here doing your best Jay Connor impression by living your best life too, so here are some of my personal recommendations to ensure that your last couple of weeks of summer don’t go to waste.
You’re welcome in advance.
Ray-Ban Stories, $299
What happens when Meta and luxury sunglasses brand Ray-Ban make googly eyes at each other from across the room, then rip their clothes off and make a baby? You get
child support Ray-Ban Stories, which are like regular Ray-Bans but way cooler since they’re on performance-enhancing drugs. Each pair has built-in HD cameras that allow you to take hands-free pictures and videos via voice command, and as an added bonus, they also work as Bluetooth headphones for those awkward moments when your Uber driver won’t shut the hell up. And if you’re anything like me, and extremely picky about what you put on your face (monkeypox, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!), they come in 28 different variations because I can’t have you out here embarrassing me in public. Smart glasses are the future, and Ray-Ban Stories will happily help you embrace your fate.
Avión Reserva Cristalino Listening Experience Kit, $295
The only thing better than a bottle of Avión is a bottle of Avión that comes in a big-ass box that includes two custom ice molds, two gorgeous glasses, pressed vinyl, and an ALT-500 turntable. For those wondering why in the hell a bottle of Avión Reserva Cristalino (which already ain’t cheap) would come with a turntable, that would be in order to provide you with an “immersive auditory journey highlighting the tequila-making process from the comfort of your home.” It’s a pretty dope way to spend happy hour in the crib, so feel free to partake in the Avión Reserva Cristalino Listening Experience Kit at your earliest convenience.
SUNFLOW Beach Bundle, $296
“WE OUTSIIIDE!!” hits different when you’ve actually been to the beach this summer. But for you poor unfortunate souls who have yet to do so, you might wanna scoop up the SUNFLOW Beach Bundle. Why? Because aside from a dope-ass beach chair that’s as sexy as it is rust and water-resistant, it also includes a sun shade to protect you from the sun’s blistering hatred, a drink holder to keep you tipsy hydrated, a dry bag to protect your valuables, and a towel that attaches to your chair so it won’t fly away. So now you can finally be “OUTSIIIDE!!” for real.
Ciroc Summer Citrus & Passion Vodkas, $21.99
Diddy has been the patron saint of pool parties since what seems like the dawn of time, and the latest flavors from Ciroc—Passion and Summer Citrus—are exactly what you need to live your best life before fall comes along next month with an attitude. Don’t sleep on the limited edition Pomegranate either, but Ciroc is always a welcome addition to any Black-ass shindig.
Drunk Lyrics, $20
Anyone that knows me knows that I’m obsessed with two things: crab legs and game nights. (Three if we include Halle Berry.) In the Black community, game nights are a long-standing tradition in which feelings get hurt, friendships are tested and somebody is always guaranteed to cry in the car after getting hit with a Draw Four. That being said, if you’re a music head like me, Drunk Lyrics is a strooooooong contender for one of the greatest games in the history of ever. Why? Because it challenges your music knowledge by making you recite song lyrics based upon whatever word is on your card. That also means the game never gets old because there are a million different songs with “Hennessey” and “enemies” in them (and 2Pac made them all), so the game never gets stale. It’s brilliant, it’s hilarious, it’s…Drunk Lyrics.