Listen: It is well known that white women suffer from Black woman envy. In Kim Kardashian’s America and on Bhad Bhabie’s internet, there is no doubt about this. But that white woman melanin-vy doesn’t always manifest itself in appropriation and Black-fishing—sometimes it’s just a white woman who decides to sit down next to a random Black man in a restaurant to complain about how Black women are ruining America and the mandingo male negro needs to do something about it.
According to the Daily Dot, Black man Nicholas Wilkerson recorded an exchange that began with him minding his Black-ass business at the Dead Fish restaurant in Crockett, Calif., when a Karen, who Harriet Tubman would have shot accidentally on purpose, said to him, “The Black male needs to get up and decide to put these Black chicks in their place.”
Wilkerson panned the camera to himself to show the astonished-at-this-caucasity look on his face, but really, I was just astonished that this woman’s face barely moved the entire time she was talking—that must be white girl magic.
“You said that Black women are messing with your mom?” Wilkerson asks the Karen who Rosa Parks would have sat her luggage on.
“The country!” she replies.
“The Black male needs to wrestle the Black female and tell her...put her in her place. Because if you don’t, she is gonna just…she’s just gonna—I don’t know. She’s just gonna…you know…mess it all up,” the Karen, who Blue Ivy was staring down at from the balcony, continued.
OK, look—I’m not sure what Black women did to hurt this white woman.
Maybe the Karen, who Angela Bassett rubbed out while cleaning her fingernails, thought raisins in potato salad were perfectly fine until the sistas fucked the whole game up.
Maybe she told a Black woman she only showers twice a month to keep her skin from cracking and the Black woman called her a nasty bih and told her Cocoa Butter Jesus gave us SheaMoisture lotion for a reason.
What I do know is Wilkerson was having none of this white nonsense coming from the Karen, who Solange was really swinging at when she punched Jay-Z in that elevator (but then she just kept throwing hands because he’s a cheater anyway.)
“Why’s the Black woman going to mess it all up?” he asked.
The Karen—who Tubman would have revived, taken to the hospital and then shot again–struggled to come up with an answer before muttering, “For, well, the color of her skin...you know? People like porcelain skin, the blue eyes, the yellow hair—you know, all of it. You want to go there?”
Um...
NO, STILL-FACE KAREN, BECAUSE YOUR ALL LICE MATTERS-ASS ALREADY WENT THERE!
Somebody please tell me this Karen, who Megan Thee Stallion thought was a rock in her shoe, is not implying that it is Black women who are jealous of white women in all their blue-eyes-and-blonde-lice-hotel glory?
Black don’t crack, but you know what cracks easily? Porcelain.
Anyway, Wilkerson tried his best to set Mary-with-the-dry-martini-and-dryer-skin straight.
“First of all, our Black women are strong,” he said. “We got strong Black women in this world. Yes indeed. And the Black women in this country, in this world, is not the problem.”
The Karen, whose back Simone Biles sits her Gatorade on, tried to interject, saying, “Yes they are. They truly are,” but Wilkerson talked over her, pointing out she was insulting his mother, sister, girlfriend and every Black woman in his life.
From there, the woman struggled for a rebuttal. She must have been on some rant about her mother before the camera started rolling because Wilkerson told her whatever is going on with her mom, it ain’t Black women’s fault.
“Let me tell you about my mom,” she said. “That bitch is 97 years old and she don’t know when to quit.” (She said while also being a white woman who clearly doesn’t know when to quit.)
“You got Black chicks who are like that,” she continued. “They need to be reigned in!”
I mean, I’ve seen all manner of caucasity in my day, but this Karen, who Missy Elliott would have thrown out her window into the rain and then vrooooomed over with her Jeep, really used her white-ass mother as an example of how Black women behave.
Eventually, a server came over to Wilkerson to tell him another group of women invited him to join them so he could get away from this crazy-ass racist woman.
And scene.