white tears
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In Defense of ‘Wypipo’
A few years ago, I was engaged in a discussion about sexual assault. The topic eventually rolled around to date rape—particularly the trend on many college campuses of enforcing strict rules when it comes to intoxicated women. In all my intellectual, sexist glory, I declared that I disagreed with the entire premise. “I agree that…
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The Official White-Tears Quiz: How a Black-Student Protest Terrified and Outraged White People
Instead of reading this as a news story, please use this article as an official measuring stick for your white-tears awareness. The answer key is at the bottom. A Washington state college was deluged with a torrential downpour of low-sodium, gluten-free white tears after butt-hurt white people freaked out when minority students asked for a…
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Can We Talk About This Thing Bothering Me About Dear White People?
When Netflix announced that it would release a TV series based on the 2014 film Dear White People, a lot of white people freaked out, accusing the show and Netflix of being racist. All the freaking out didn’t really affect the popularity of the show, which managed to snag a 100 percent “certified fresh” ranking…
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Trump’s Presidential Address: The Wypipo Speech
Apparently, black people are racist. I didn’t know I was a racist until recently, but luckily, the great people of white America took their long history of racial awareness and benevolence toward people of color to show us the light. Lately, the jujitsu of reverse racism has manifested itself in the ugliest, most virulent form…
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The Latest Leslie Jones White-Tears Controversy
Leslie Jones is the latest target in the new epidemic of wypipo pearl-clutching and getting outraged at comedians for telling jokes. During her latest stand-up performance at Carolines on Broadway, Jones, the New York Times reports, told the story of when online troll and pedophile advocate Milo Yiannopoulos attacked her and inspired his “alt-right” minions…
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‘Dear White People’: The Secret White Email That Started the Netflix Boycott
On Wednesday, butt-hurt wypipo everywhere joined together to boycott Netflix because of the trailer for the new show Dear White People. After Issa Rae’s Insecure and Russian spies exposed America’s secret white email network last year, we managed to hack into the white server and unearth the email that started the entire Netflix controversy: Dear…
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Wendy Bell, The White Privilege Turducken, Is Back With A Bucket Of Freshly Squeezed White Tears
During the first round of “What The Fuck Was Wendy Bell Thinking?” — the three-week-long reality show where pundits and laypeople alike put their collective brains together to determine why the former WTAE-TV anchor thought it was wise to go Full Post-Racial Scarlett O’Hara — I held tight to a morsel of hope. “Perhaps” I thought “maybe she’ll eventually realize…
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Harriet Tubman On The $20 Just Might Be The Most Elaborate Troll For White Tears Ever
The list of “things that tickle the fuck out of me” is a living and breathing one. Which is necessary because I occasionally find more things to tickle me. And, occasionally, things that tickled me before no longer do. Included on this list are things such as my daughter’s laugh, the last hour of Akeelah…
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Kendrick Confirms It: February 2016 Is The Blackest Black History Month Ever
February is the month designated to be Black History Month. It is also the shortest month of the calendar year. This happens to be a coincidence — today’s Black History Month is the evolution of Carter G. Woodson’s “Negro History Week,” created in 1926 and intended to be recognized the second week of February — but I…