white people
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5 Life Hacks for Black People Who Want to Leverage White Guilt to Make White People Uncomfortable at Work
We all already know that America is a haven for white supremacy: a 400-year-old greenhouse for white privilege where the vegetation is watered by white tears and casserole juice. Fortunately, there’s space within this forest of whiteness to cheat the game a little bit and use the guilt some of them feel for being historically…
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Racists, Ranked
You know the feeling. You’ve just walked into a fine retail establishment, determined to drive yourself further into debt by collecting more shit you don’t need, when you get that strange sensation: Somebody’s watching you. Really, it’s fucked up for two reasons: the first being that it feeds into the idea that vigilante white people…
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A Line-by-Line Response to the New York Times’ Response to the Backlash It Received for Publishing a Nazi Puff Piece
On Nov. 25, the New York Times published “A Voice of Hate in America’s Heartland”—a piece about the wedding registry, eating habits and eyebrow maintenance of an Ohio man who also happens to be a Nazi. This profile bothered quite a few people, who were somewhat annoyed that the country’s biggest and most important newspaper…
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How to Survive in America When You’re Black and Your Hometown Is Donald Trump’s Base
I grew up in Allen County, Ohio. I lived in the county seat of Lima and attended school in the village of Elida. The show Glee takes place in my hometown, and I have never watched a single episode of Glee, but I often use this fact to help orient people to where I grew…
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7 Things That Make White People Interrupt You When You’re Minding Your Own Damn Business
One truism in life, my brother, is that white people do not believe in personal space. Another, my brother, is that white people love to speak to black people (not sure how the other colored communities fare) about lots of random shit that we probably don’t feel like talking about ’PACIFICALLY when we don’t feel…
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White People Are Weird! Why Are Y’all So Damn Weird? Can Y’all Stop Being So Damn Weird?
Others, including The Root’s staff writer Michael Harriot, have already written about the support Sean Hannity received after some of his sponsors cut ties with him for having alleged child molester Roy Moore on his show to explain his tendency to date teens. We know, already, that this support at all costs is hypocritical. And…
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White People Are Smashing Their Coffee Machines to Show Support for Child Molestation
Those people are at it again. You know who I’m talking about. The ecru-colored citizens who turn beet red at facts and statistics, who wondered why they weren’t included in the phrase #BlackLivesMatter and who called it a “terrorist organization.” The taupe Americans who cried butt-hurt boo-hoos when football players did exactly what they suggested…
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The Most Useless Types of White People, Ranked
10. The “I would have voted for Obama again” guy, which, since a three-term presidency is literally not possible right now, is like saying, “I totally would have killed a velociraptor, dude. Totally.” 9. The “Why can’t we just forget about our differences and come together?” guy, who’s usually the exact-same guy as the “I…
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The White Woman Who Got Fired for Giving Trump the Finger Is the Blackest Thing That Ever Happened This Week
To be clear, I am not interested in any honorary blackening or distributing any sort of cookout invitations to Juli Briskman, the white woman fired from her marketing-company job after a photo of her flipping the bird at a Trump motorcade went viral. Because while Juli might very well be swell, I don’t know her…
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We Need a Reset Button or Something for White People
Do you remember Ruben Studdard? Of course you do! That was a rhetorical question! But just in case you don’t, Ruben won American Idol in 2003, back when that actually mattered, and then later that year released his first album, Soulful, which went platinum. Soulful’s most popular single was “Sorry 2004.” Which was a fucking…