white house
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Oprah Winfrey Is Not Running for President, so Stop Making Those Bootleg T-Shirts and Mugs
We can all let go of the idea of Gayle King as vice president, Ava DuVernay as the secretary of education and, unfortunately for diplomatic relations, Iyanla Vanzant as ambassador to the United Nations. Sadly, middle-American white women, who all wore pink pussy hats during the recent Women’s Marches and yet secretly voted for Donald…
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Omarosa Continues to Cash Out on Her Time in the White House Because That’s What Soulless People Do
Southern universities get ready: Omarosa Manigault Newman, the woman with the soul the size of an acorn that’s been smashed into pieces by a tractor, has signed with a speakers bureau … because who didn’t see this coming? Seriously, did anyone not see Omarosa looking to cash in on her time in the White House?…
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Omarosa May Have Secretly Recorded Conversations in the White House. If True, This Would Be Peak Omarosa
If the rumors that former White House worker (or President Donald Trump’s personal Diet Coke getter) Omarosa Manigault Newman secretly recorded private conversations she had during her short White House stay, then I hate to say this—it actually pains me to say this—but Omarosa might be our only hope to bring down the White House.…
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Obama Had Officials Pay for Their Own Makeup Before TV Appearances; Trump Has the Taxpayers Doing It
If you’ve ever wondered to yourself, “Who is the person who makes Kellyanne Conway look less like a corpse?” Or, “Who makes Sarah Huckabee Sanders look less like a goofy troll-like succubus?” Well, I have the answer: It’s the White House’s full-time hair and makeup artist, Katie Price. That’s right. President Donald Trump’s White House…
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White House on ‘Sloppy Steve’ Bannon: ‘New Phone, Who Dis?’
Who the hell is Hogan Gidley? Turns out he’s the deputy White House press secretary who was talking mad smack about former White House strategist “Sloppy Steve” Bannon. “I don’t believe there is any way back for Mr. Bannon at this point,” Gidley told reporters aboard Air Force One, Yahoo! Finance reports. Just a few…
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Omarosa Leaving the White House for Lucrative Career in Unemployment
Omarosa Manigault Newman, reality star and aunt who brings store-bought pound cake to Thanksgiving dinner, is leaving her post in the Trump administration and her position as Black Person in the Trump administration. According to CBS News, Manigault Newman resigned Tuesday to “pursue other opportunities,” effective Jan. 20, 2018. She has served as assistant to…
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Snitches, Roaches, Criminals and Rats: Yup, the Trump White House Is Definitely a Trap House
I, for one, cannot wait until 10 years from now when the best books about what’s happening in the White House today are released. Of course, whether those books are written and published and we buy and read them depends on whether the planet is still actually here, which is a bit of a toss-up…
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Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Has 1 Foot Out of the White House and the Other on a Banana Peel
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is currently updating his LinkedIn profile to include his work at the White House. He’s spent a good portion of his morning calling friends to see who’s hiring, and practicing saying the word “funemployment,” because he’s out. Everyone knows he’s out, including Tillerson. Which is the reason he’s been combing…
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An Accused Sex Offender Is in Office and Someone Thought It Was a Good Idea to Hang Mistletoe in the White House
I am not sure whose job it is to hang festive decorations in the White House during Christmastime, but I think that person might want to rethink who’s manning the Oval Office. Because whoever it is thought it was a good idea to hang mistletoe around an accused sexual predator. That’s right—President “Grab ’Em by…