white house
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Naija, Please: Omarosa Wants Back In, Confirms Trump Called African Nations ‘Shithole Countries’
Black God’s most beloved belly flop, Omarosa Manigault Newman, wants back on the Underground Railroad. Ever since being kicked out of her master’s house, where she was receiving a paycheck for being the president’s closest black friend, Omarosa has been revamping herself as a bitter “Spook Who Sat Near the President and Was Totally Fine…
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Watch: Nigerian President Asked About Trump’s ‘Shithole Country’ Remarks During White House Visit
For the first time since Omarosa’s firing, the president is hosting a black person at the White House whose name doesn’t rhyme with Fen Barson. On Monday, the White House staff pulled out the good silverware for Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari. According to CBS News, the meeting between the president of an advanced country and…
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Melania Trump Is Serving Michelle Obama’s Collard Greens for Dinner and We Need to Pray
As America frets over the Republicans’ efforts to taint the Mueller investigation, the prospect of a North Korean nuclear contamination and Syria’s use of chemical warfare against its own citizens, there is a much bigger threat of poisoning looming on the American horizon. Melania Trump is going to serve collard greens. Time reports that the…
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US Cabinet Members, America’s Least Christian White People, Have a Regular Bible-Study Group
I grew up in a Christian household. Both of my parents were raised Baptist, and they raised me as one, but I wouldn’t quite say that we were practicing. We didn’t go to church very often, and we mostly just prayed before eating and while hoping that the Pirates would win the pennant. And while…
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Kellyanne Conway, Is This Your Husband? If So, You Need to Get Him Off Twitter ’Cause He’s Destroying Your Boss
Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway has a husband. Her husband’s name is George. George is an Ivy League-educated attorney. There is a Twitter user named “George Conway” who has a sketch avatar of Kellyanne’s husband’s face. This George Conway has over 20,000 followers on Twitter, and on a daily basis he trolls the White…
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Donald Trump Jr. Wore a ‘Deplorable’ Lapel Pin Because He’s a Jackass
All Donald Trump Jr. had to do was show up to the White House lawn on Easter Sunday and pose for photos with his five children and his wife, who wants out of that family so bad, she’s not waiting until the president’s term is up. But oh no, with rumors swirling that Trump Jr.,…
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Trump Invited Vladimir Putin to the White House; Expect the President to Change His Relationship Status on Facebook
The president has swiped right, and it looks like he’s ready to take his international Grindr relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin all the way, as reports are stating that Donald Trump has invited Putin to the White House. According to the Washington Post, during a phone call earlier this month in which Trump congratulated…
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Howard Stern to Donald Trump: Get Out of the White House
Radio host Howard Stern is a little annoyed that his friend and frequent guest on his radio show, President Donald Trump, hasn’t reached out to him for advice on how to handle the accusations from porn actress Stormy Daniels. For those of you who don’t wade in thot waters (talking about the president here, not…
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Jared Kushner Under White House Investigation: Report
When he’s not practicing martial arts at the Cobra Kai dojo, Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser Jared Kushner seems to be consistently engaging in questionable business dealings. White House attorneys are looking into whether hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of loans secured by Kushner’s family violated laws or federal ethics regulations. According to CNN,…
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President Pussy Grabber Wants to Bring Alleged Domestic Abuser Back to the White House: Report
The president of the United States never wanted White House staff secretary Rob Porter to leave the White House. Didn’t matter that at the time of Porter’s resignation, he was facing two allegations that he’d abused two former wives. Didn’t matter that the White House knew about these allegations before the women’s allegations were reported…