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Here's Why Trump Sent That Nonsensical Tweet About the Moon Being 'a Part' of Mars
The president is a goddamn idiot. If the president were in a Jeopardy match between a nonverbal slug and a piece of lint and the president only had to get one question correct the entire game and, if he lost, the world would end, I would say start shooting your shots with all those unattainable…
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Kellyanne Conway's Husband George Diagnoses Trump's Behavior. Trump Calls Him a 'Loser'
President Trump and the better half of the Conways are continuing their war of words online after George Conway called the president’s mental health into question and the president responded (of course he did) by calling him “a total loser.” On Tuesday, Conway, the husband to Trump’s adviser Kellyanne Conway (who doesn’t favor a cadaver)……
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Rep. Ilhan Omar Claps Back at the Bigot In Chief: 'You Have Trafficked in Hate Your Whole Life'
Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) had time Wednesday morning when she clapped back at President Trump’s call for her to resign, noting that the president has trafficked in hate his whole life. In a tweet, the president’s preferred mode of communication because he’s basically a 13-year-old 7th grader, Omar tweeted: You know that Omar’s initial tweet…
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Following a Massive Attack from Nicki Minaj's Barbz, BET Issues Apology for Crass Tweet
I’d like to start this out by saying that never in the history of ever will you ever have to tear another woman down to build one up. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get started. On music’s biggest night, a regular, degular girl from the Bronx made history. Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar, aka…
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Sarah Palin Calls Stacey Abrams a ‘Literal Loser’ and Twitter Quickly Reminds Her That She’s Sarah Palin
Former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s entire Alaskan house—you know the one where she can see Russia from her front yard—is made of glass. So as the old proverb goes: Never throw stones when you’re dumb as a goddamn rock. But when has that ever stopped Sarah Palin? On Tuesday, Palin was attempting to post…
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The 'Stable Genius' Just Rage-Tweeted a Misspelled Threat to Cut Funds for Fighting 'Forrest Fires'
On Wednesday, a little after 10 a.m. on the East Coast, which means that the president has already walked the halls of the White House wearing only an adult diaper and a robe made the innards of orphaned baby seals clubbed to death with oak legs from authentic Victorian-era dining tables. He’s already drank a…
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The Senile Old Man in the White House Is Going to All-Cap Tweet Us Into a War With Iran
If these boisterous threats are true, this might be the first time in American history that the President of the United States has tweeted us into a war. Late Sunday evening the fake president and very real reality star decided to issue a furious all-caps tweet to Iran. First off, what the fuck was the…
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Mike Huckabee Tweets Racist Photo Associating Nancy Pelosi With MS-13 Gang
White supremacist, Christian extremist and fFormer Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee tweeted a photo suggesting that House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi’s (D-Calif.) campaign committee to “take back” the House of Representatives is made up of MS-13 gang members. Here is the racist tweet: The tweet was a clear effort to associate Pelosi and other Democrats with…
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What Happened to Pastor Mark Burns?
To be called to the church is a righteous mission; it’s a testament to devotion at the highest level. To serve one’s God is a mighty purpose. It requires selflessness and compassion. So it is with all due respect that I ask, what the fuck happened to Mark Burns? I don’t have any issue with…
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President Trump’s Latest Tweet Is Undeniable Proof That He’s an Asshole
I think at this point it’s no longer speculation or conjecture or mean-spiritedness to call President Donald Trump an asshole. He is an asshole. He knows it, his staff knows it, his supporters know it. And I think one of his best traits is being an asshole—an unabashed, unashamed asshole. Trump is the physical embodiment…