tom brady
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5 Players Who Are As Good As Gone Before the NBA Trade Deadline
Do you know what today is? Yes, I know it’s Thursday and your child support is due, but more importantly, today is the NBA trade deadline—the magical day in which teams throughout Adam Silver’s lucrative kingdom make a last-ditch effort to either acquire assets or strengthen their rosters before Kyrie and them win a championship…
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Must Be the Money: The New England Patriots Are Taking No Prisoners During NFL Free Agency
I don’t consider myself a religious person, but as much as I despise the New England Patriots, head coach Bill Bellicheat is really out here turning water into bottles of Luc Belaire. Back in October, when the Patriots were 2-4 and looking like dog shit for the first time in decades, Tom Brady’s step-daddy attributed…
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The Biggest Winners From Super Bowl Sunday Had Nothing to Do With Tom Brady
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tom Brady won his 7th Super Bowl. Who cares? Super Bowl LV was about much more than just Tom Brady—it was a seminal moment for so many others. So instead of heaping all the praise on some wayward white man, here’s who also deserves their flowers in the immediate aftermath of Super…
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Yeah, Yeah, Tom Brady Won Another Ring, but Black Women Made the Super Bowl Their Runway
We heard there was a football game on Sunday, but as usual, we’re just here for the fashion. (Plus, Brady and ‘nem won yet again, so what else is new, other than you experimenting with wings in the air fryer this year?) While the game may have been anticlimactic, at best—OK, abjectly disappointing for those…
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Tom Brady Lives to Lose, the Broncos Got Screwed and Other Takeaways from Week 12 of the NFL
There was football this weekend? Oh. In a past life, I used to play both the tuba and baritone in middle school. I wasn’t particularly great at either—my family used to call it “fart music”—but I tried, dammit, and performed in a couple of our local Rooster Day Parades back in Tulsa, Okla., as well…
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After Bitter Custody Battle, Rob Gronkowski Reunites With Tom Brady in Tampa Bay
Rappers love to retire. When sales get slow or interest isn’t quite what it used to be, it’s a great way to remind their fanbase that they could be off doing other shit—like pretending they don’t miss rapping. But when athletes retire, we typically don’t expect a curtain call. When it’s over, it’s over. Either…
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It's Not You, It's Me: Tom Brady Files for Divorce From the New England Patriots After 20 Years of Marital Bliss
After tormenting the NFL for the past 20 years and collecting six Vince Lombardi trophies along the way, it would appear that Tom Brady and the New England Patriots are finally—finally!—going their separate ways. In a pair of Instagram posts that instantly broke the internet, the fourteen-time Pro Bowler woke up bright and early on…
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Either Teddy Perkins or Tom Brady Threatened Porn Actress Stormy Daniels
I don’t want to strike up a conspiracy theory here, but let’s just say that adult-film actress and official spanker of the president’s orange ass Stormy Daniels has released a sketch of the man she claims threatened her in 2011 regarding her relationship with the president, and it looks an awful lot like five-time Super…
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Is It Racist to Hate the New England Patriots Because They Have Too Many White Players? (Hint: Nope!)
You do not have to search very far to find good and moral reasons to hate the New England Patriots (also, to be clear, this is a sports hate, not a hate hate—hate hates are reserved for soggy chicken wings, cave crickets and Post Malone). In fact, you don’t have to search at all. If…
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Eagles Fans Tear Down Property and Act a Fool After Super Bowl Win, but Police Show Restraint. Amazing
Philly, this is why you don’t get nice things. The city celebrated its first Super Bowl victory (I mean, congratulations) and gifted us with the image of forlorn New England Patriot Tom Brady sitting on the football field, fresh off of fumbling the damn ball (and we are ever grateful). Both of these things—but especially…