theory & essay
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How To Eat Chicken Wings Down To The Bone Like A Lady. A Classy Lady.
If you are like me, you’re a woman who loves chicken. And I don’t mean occasionally liking it fried or coated in BBQ sauce, but loving it so much that you wouldn’t dare disrespect it by not eating it in it’s entirety, with just the sound of the bone clinking against the plate as you…
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Group Dinners At Restaurants Are Never Fun, And We Need To Stop Having Them
Getting older seems to come with a fair amount of side effects—increased joint pain, indigestion, tooth sensitivity, general peevishness about being awake after 11 on a weeknight. Some of these are just general consequences of your body letting you know that you, too, are slowly decaying from years of treating it like Play-Doh. Others are just…
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So Here's How I Accidentally Bought A Murse.
There was a time in my life—college—when I used to love shopping. Now, this was mostly because I enjoyed the malls in Atlanta, with Cumberland and Lenox Square being my favorites. I went to Cumberland because it was on my side of Interstate 285 (the west side) and sold more than shoes, baby clothes and gangsta grills (like Greenbriar),…
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The Mint App Is An Unreasonably Petty And Penny-Pinching Ho
New Years’ 2016 came around just a little under three months ago. And with it, yours truly had yet again created a set of seemingly attainable goals for the subsequent 365 days in an feeble attempt to become a fully actualized adult. Some of the list has been fairly simple to execute. For example, I’ve…
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On Kehlani, Nick Young, And Gender-Based Double Standards For Cheaters
In recent days, artists and ball players have provided a gotdamn clinic on how NOT go about several facets of everyday living. They’ve also exposed one of the most significant double standards we have in the Venus vs Mars debate. For those not in the know, a singer you don’t know named Kehlani used to…
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Did I Get White Saviored #OrNah?
On Tuesday evenings, my daughter has dance class. She takes a combination tap and jazz class and is a good dancer. She is now seven years old and her mother and I have had her in dance since she was nearly two. I’ve been a dance dad for a very long time. Even now, I’m getting…
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My Facebook Is Really Black
Do you remember a few months ago when people were unfriending folks left and right because they found out their friends were Donald Trump supporters or über-conservative or even sometimes closet racists? Yeah, that never happened to me. In fact, I’ve only had to side-eye a few people because of their pseudo-support for Bill Cosby,…
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Fuck This Entire Election Cycle
When Donald Trump was scheduled March 11 to stump on the University of Illinois Chicago campus, I was driving to Detroit with the goal of getting out of town before the inevitable protests began. I openly questioned on Facebook the purpose of protesting Trump, as if making a scene in public wouldn’t just embolden his…
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I'm Buggin' Out: RIP To The Five Foot Assassin, Phife Dawg, My Favorite Underdog
“Yo, microphone check, 1, 2, what is this…” As the story goes, I was in my 9th grade English class, taught by Mrs. Sproul, and asleep. Which never happened: I’ve always been an astute student, sitting at the front of the class and being the first to raise my hand to answer questions posed to…