Super Bowl
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Martellus Bennett Won’t Be Going to Trump’s White House
Turns out there is a black player on the New England Patriots (ha, just kidding; I know they have three black players!), and he isn’t going to the White House. Patriots tight end Martellus Bennett was barely into his celebration in the come-from-behind victory for the ages when he let it be known that he…
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A Cheer For The New England Patriots Is A Cheer For Donald Trump
Sports fans usually don’t want to mix their politics and sports — well, White sports fans — but fans of the New England Patriots have no choice. From Tom Brady’s passive-aggressive endorsement of Trump to the very name of the organization, if the personal is, indeed, political, then Patriots fans need to come to terms…
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All Mansions Matter: Lawsuit Claims That Cam Newton Trashed Rental Property
Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton is being sued for reportedly trashing a California mansion after his dismal performance in the Super Bowl. According to Yahoo! Sports, Newton is “facing a $270,000 lawsuit over alleged damages to an $11 million home he rented in Beverly Hills.” Newton rented the luxury home during the summer from a…
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If Beyoncé Has Gone Full Black, I'm Here For It.
Based on the events of the past weekend related to Beyoncé, it’s entirely possible that she’s trolling America, all of it. Beyoncé dropped the video for the song “Formation” on Saturday, converting (my) Facebook into a de facto Beyoncé fan site. “Formation” is an unapologetically black- and Southern-ass song and video. The words to the…
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The Way We Talk When We Talk About Athletes Is Dumb As Fuck. Understandable, But Dumb As Fuck
For many good and obvious reasons, Michael Jordan is considered the gold standard for contemporary athletes. His career and his success and his level of sustained greatness are the benchmarks other dominant athletes are judged by; in fact, it’s considered an honor to even be included in the same conversation. (And, occasionally, an insult to…
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The Real Life Equivalent To How Seattle Lost The Super Bowl
You’re consistently unlucky with love. You’ve never had a girlfriend, and the last date you were on was when you went to the grocery store to buy a bag of dates, and you accidentally sat on the bag while driving back home. You are lonely. Desolate. You’re a tumbleweed on a windless day. A candle…
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Rooting For New England Is Like Rooting For Gout, And More Thoughts About The Super Bowl
1. The NFL football season usually ends for me when the Steelers are done playing. Whether it’s the last game of the regular season or the first game of the playoffs, when the Steelers are out, so am I. I’ll still watch a game if it happens to be on, and, depending on the game,…