sports
-
Why People Just Don't Give A Fuck About College Athletes Being Exploited
Last week, a friend joked that the first Thursday and Friday of the NCAA tournament should be national holidays. No one gets any work done anyway, he said, so why not just give everyone those two days off? This was not the first and will not be the last time I’ll hear someone make a…
-
Draymond Green Summarized The Entire Black Experience In Five Seconds
At the beginning of the interview, he is every Black American trying to do the right thing. Every worker catching two trains to work this morning. Every parent dropping their kids off at school. Every husband agreeing to go weekend toaster shopping even though the toaster they currently own works perfectly fine. And then, something…
-
What's Happening With Derrick Rose Is Fucking Sad
The amount of money Derrick Rose will make because of professional basketball will be in the hundreds of millions. Not tens. Hundreds. He is very young; 26, probably younger than most people reading this. He’s also handsome, world-famous, and, aside from his recurring knee issues, in presumably amazing health. Basically, when thinking of the type…
-
The Lightskinned Revolution Will Be Televised During All-Star Weekend
Saturday night, at approximately 10pm EST, Kyrie Irving was competing in the final round of the 2015 three point contest. The other contestants? The “Splash Brothers” — Golden State Warriors guards Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson; a duo doing the exact same thing to the NBA in 2015 that Al B. Sure and Christopher Williams…
-
Russell Westbrook And A Black Man's Respect
I recently saw the Vine of Russell Westbrook shooting eye daggers at Jeremy Lamb for not shaking his hand in what looks to be a timeout or some shit and it made me laugh a thousand laughs. Or maybe like ten. The number is unimportant as numbers are merely vessels to get to the point…
-
The Real Life Equivalent To How Seattle Lost The Super Bowl
You’re consistently unlucky with love. You’ve never had a girlfriend, and the last date you were on was when you went to the grocery store to buy a bag of dates, and you accidentally sat on the bag while driving back home. You are lonely. Desolate. You’re a tumbleweed on a windless day. A candle…
-
Rooting For New England Is Like Rooting For Gout, And More Thoughts About The Super Bowl
1. The NFL football season usually ends for me when the Steelers are done playing. Whether it’s the last game of the regular season or the first game of the playoffs, when the Steelers are out, so am I. I’ll still watch a game if it happens to be on, and, depending on the game,…
-
Kyrie Irving, Who Is Very Good At Playing Basketball, Drops Double Nickel On Damian Lillard
Kyrie Irving is very good at playing basketball. Here are the results from the last seven professional basketball games Kyrie Irving — who is very good at playing basketball — played, and how the point guards matched up against him fared. (Each game, btw, was a Cavs victory) 1/16/15 vs the LA Clippers and Chris…
-
Kevin Garnett Does Not Want To Actually Fight. Because No One Wants To Actually Fight.
During the Rockets/Nets game last night, professional octogenarian Kevin Garnett and Dwight Howard got into an altercation. Both men pushed each other, Garnett headbutted and threw the ball at Howard, and Howard hit Garnett with a forearm. Now, what happened next depends on your interpretation of what happened next. And your interpretation of what happened next…
-
The Cavs (Finally!) Traded Dion Waiters. I Am Ecstatic. Here's Why.
1. At the moment, Dion Waiters is not a very good NBA basketball player. This is a fact most who follow the NBA agree on. He is average to below average in pretty much every advanced metric you can name — advanced metrics were basically invented just to prove that players like Dion Waiters were…