sports
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The Consistently And Embarrassingly Underappreciated Mike Tomlin
It is 1:40pm EST. Mike Tomlin is trending right now. By the time you read this, however, he probably won’t be anymore. Although (moderately) famous, he doesn’t have the type of fame that would keep him a day-long trending topic in July. Unless, of course, something bad happened. Which is exactly what I first assumed when first…
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Stephen A. Smith Is A Sellout
The first thing you have to remember when listening to Stephen A Smith is perhaps the most difficult thing to remember when listening to Stephen A Smith. He is smart. Very, very smart. It is easy to watch him and Skip Bayless hurl gargoyle shit at each other and assume they’re nincompoops. That they only throw the…
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Serena Williams Drinks, Bathes In, And Makes Lemonade With White Tears
Serena Williams just beat Maria Sharapova. Again. Because that’s what she does. Chew bubble gum, beat Maria Sharapova, and win majors. And I have no doubt that, as long as she doesn’t become too distracted by the emojis Drake is texting her right now, she will beat Garbine Muguruza in the Wimbledon final. There is a particular…
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The Haters' Guide To Successfully Hating The Golden State Warriors
The Golden State Warriors are the new NBA champions; a perfect end to a historic season where they won 67 games (the third most in NBA history) and won the affections of both casual and diehard fans with an aesthetically and analytically pleasing style of play. They also feature a ridiculously popular league MVP who might not…
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Everything You Need To Know But Didn't Think To Ask About The 2015 NBA Finals
Tonight, the Golden State Warriors will host the Cleveland Cavaliers for the first game of what should be a very entertaining finals. You have stars (Lebron, Curry, Kyrie, Klay), multiple compelling storylines, feisty Australians with hockey playoff beards, Draymond Green — the patron saint of “Wishanigga Woods”, and a team (Cleveland) very, very happy Oakland, California…
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I'm Only Rooting For Confirmed Shitty Human Floyd Mayweather Because He's Black. Is This Racist?
This weekend, Floyd Mayweather will fight Manny Pacquiao in what will be the most highly-anticipated boxing match I can remember. It’s so highly-anticipated that people who generally give no fucks about boxing — people like The Wife Person and I — will be making plans this week to not only watch the fight, but possibly (gasp!) pay…
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On Being A Diehard Sports Fan…And Marrying Someone Who Doesn't Give A Shit About Sports
Tomorrow marks the beginning of the NBA playoffs. This, the two month span between mid-April and mid-June, is my favorite time of the year. Not my favorite sports time. There are no qualifiers. No other time of year — not my birthday, not Thanksgiving, not the season premiere of Hannibal — gives me as much…
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Why Baltimore Raven/Mathematician John Urschel Is The Blackest Person Who Ever Existed This Week
1. Because math — not English, not social studies, not horticulture, not even science — is the Blackest subject. At least it is according to JR Writer. And Fabulous. And Cassidy. And every other rapper who’s devoted several bars to bragging about dropping out of school but always being good at math. Because being good at…