sports
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The University Of Missouri Football Boycott Is The Biggest American Protest Of The 21st Century
I wasn’t alive in the 50s and 60s and 70s when mass boycotts to protest racial injustice was more commonplace and more infused with our national cultural zeitgeist. I, like most of you, am very aware of the Montgomery Bus Boycott and other, less publicized, boycotts (like the New Orleans citizens boycott). But, again, reading about the…
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The Second Dumbest Reason People Give For Hating NBA Basketball
At the moment, the New England Patriots, partially fueled by a gaggle of sociopathic self-righteousness after being “vindicated” by Deflategate, are undefeated and would seem to be the early favorites to win the Super Bowl. This information should come to no surprise to anyone who’s even a casual fan of the NFL. Because that exact…
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Since Drake Is Serena's Bad Luck Charm, Can He Please Do The Same With The New England Patriots?
Since the turn of the century, the New England Patriots have dominated the NFL. Granted, three other franchises (The New York Giants, The Pittsburgh Steelers, and The Baltimore Ravens) have each one two titles in that span, but no other team has been as good for as long. The Patriots are also the organizational equivalent of clitoris…
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Roger Goodell Is A Turducken Of Shitty
In one of the emails in Deadspin’s Funbag this week, someone brought up a wacky teacher who’d give students 95s on multiple choice tests if they got every answer wrong. Get one or two right, though, and you’d get your real grade. Obviously, the implied rationale is that if you’re able to intentionally get every answer wrong, you…
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Black People Don't Hate Dogs. We Just Hate When Their Lives Are Valued More Than Ours
My Pittsburgh Steelers are apparently courting Michael Vick to become their new back up QB. There are several reasons to be for (i.e.: the Steelers haven’t had a back up QB with an actual pulse since Charlie Batch) or against (i.e.: Michael Vick is the same age as “Rapper’s Delight”) this move. (For the record, I’m for…
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Serena Breaks The Internet. And Hearts. And Your Bitch Ass Too If You Don't Come Correct
They say a picture says a thousand words. But whoever “they” are have obviously never seen Serena Williams do a split on some makeshift uneven bars for an NY Mag profile; looking like and being every. damn. thing. at the exact same time. Because if “they” saw that, “they” would know some pictures only say one word. And…
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The Consistently And Embarrassingly Underappreciated Mike Tomlin
It is 1:40pm EST. Mike Tomlin is trending right now. By the time you read this, however, he probably won’t be anymore. Although (moderately) famous, he doesn’t have the type of fame that would keep him a day-long trending topic in July. Unless, of course, something bad happened. Which is exactly what I first assumed when first…
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Stephen A. Smith Is A Sellout
The first thing you have to remember when listening to Stephen A Smith is perhaps the most difficult thing to remember when listening to Stephen A Smith. He is smart. Very, very smart. It is easy to watch him and Skip Bayless hurl gargoyle shit at each other and assume they’re nincompoops. That they only throw the…
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Serena Williams Drinks, Bathes In, And Makes Lemonade With White Tears
Serena Williams just beat Maria Sharapova. Again. Because that’s what she does. Chew bubble gum, beat Maria Sharapova, and win majors. And I have no doubt that, as long as she doesn’t become too distracted by the emojis Drake is texting her right now, she will beat Garbine Muguruza in the Wimbledon final. There is a particular…