sports
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On Kehlani, Nick Young, And Gender-Based Double Standards For Cheaters
In recent days, artists and ball players have provided a gotdamn clinic on how NOT go about several facets of everyday living. They’ve also exposed one of the most significant double standards we have in the Venus vs Mars debate. For those not in the know, a singer you don’t know named Kehlani used to…
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Maria Sharapova Must've Had Some Shitty Drugs If They Made Her Lose To Serena 18 Straight Times
The most famous scene in When Harry Met Sally — and one of the most memorable scenes in movie history — takes place in a diner as “Harry” (Billy Crystal) attempts to convince “Sally” (Meg Ryan) that men can tell when women are faking orgasms. Sally disputes this claim, and proves herself right by faking…
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The Way We Talk When We Talk About Athletes Is Dumb As Fuck. Understandable, But Dumb As Fuck
For many good and obvious reasons, Michael Jordan is considered the gold standard for contemporary athletes. His career and his success and his level of sustained greatness are the benchmarks other dominant athletes are judged by; in fact, it’s considered an honor to even be included in the same conversation. (And, occasionally, an insult to…
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Who Causes More White Tears: Cam Newton Or Serena Williams?
As mentioned here numerous times before, Serena Williams’s entire career has been a prolonged troll for White Tears. From the moment the Williams sisters emerged from Compton and disrupted the tennis world’s effete and bourgeois establishment, White Tears have trailed her the way breadcrumbs trailed Hansel and Gretel. They’re shed when she wins, when she receives awards, when…
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I Don't Want My Son To Play Football.
The movie Concussion, starring Will Smith and his odd African accent, opens on Christmas Day this year. It’s a movie about a forensic pathologist, Dr. Bennett Omalu, who came to odds with the National Football League (NFL) over his research and study into chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), which can be the end result of one…
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How Many Buckets Of White Tears Were Used To Write That Letter From The Tennessee Mom To Cam Newton?
To fully grasp the depths of the ridiculousness of that ridiculous Tennessee mother’s ridiculous open letter to Cam Newton, you should be aware that this act was ridiculous in both a micro and a macro sense. It’s ridiculousness was Darth. Pervasive. Amorphous. A ridiculous soufflé stuffed in a ridiculous turducken. Levels on levels on levels of…
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The University Of Missouri Football Boycott Is The Biggest American Protest Of The 21st Century
I wasn’t alive in the 50s and 60s and 70s when mass boycotts to protest racial injustice was more commonplace and more infused with our national cultural zeitgeist. I, like most of you, am very aware of the Montgomery Bus Boycott and other, less publicized, boycotts (like the New Orleans citizens boycott). But, again, reading about the…
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The Second Dumbest Reason People Give For Hating NBA Basketball
At the moment, the New England Patriots, partially fueled by a gaggle of sociopathic self-righteousness after being “vindicated” by Deflategate, are undefeated and would seem to be the early favorites to win the Super Bowl. This information should come to no surprise to anyone who’s even a casual fan of the NFL. Because that exact…
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Since Drake Is Serena's Bad Luck Charm, Can He Please Do The Same With The New England Patriots?
Since the turn of the century, the New England Patriots have dominated the NFL. Granted, three other franchises (The New York Giants, The Pittsburgh Steelers, and The Baltimore Ravens) have each one two titles in that span, but no other team has been as good for as long. The Patriots are also the organizational equivalent of clitoris…