sports
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Cam Newton May Have Written an Inspirational Note on Instagram, but I Can’t Read It Because He Types the Way Lil Yachty Raps
I want to give Cam Newton the benefit of the doubt and assume that his Instagram post, which includes his college mug shot photo, is a treatise about the youth of today learning from their mistakes. I want to assume that the IG post is about the trials that LiAngelo Ball is facing from his…
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Very Married Former NBA Star Ray Allen Reportedly Caught in Catfishing Scheme by ‘Troubled’ Man
Former NBA shooting guard, and very married, Ray Allen is out here wilding. Apparently ole Ray Allen got himself caught up in a damn catfishing scheme, and now he’s fighting to keep all his dirty laundry off the interwebs. In legal documents obtained by TMZ Sports, Allen was reportedly catfished by a man claiming to…
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Here’s Why No One Cares About University of Oklahoma Quarterback Baker Mayfield Grabbing His Dick on National TV
While “alt-whites” are fuming over the the shoplifting exploits of three teen UCLA players who happened to include ultra-free black man LaVar Ball’s middle son LiAngelo Ball, the Christian God’s favorite collegiate pocket passer and Heisman hopeful, University of Oklahoma’s Baker Mayfield, grabbed his dick on national television while yelling, “Fuck you,” to Kansas’ players.…
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LaVar Ball vs. Donald Trump: The Epic CNN Smackdown
If there is ever a lesson to be learned about LaVar Ball, it is that the man has powered up on his smack-talk game, and you will never be able to best him at it, even if you bring him on your CNN news show in an attempt to do so. Unfortunately, CNN host Chris…
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Trump Wants Marshawn Lynch Suspended and LaVar Ball’s Middle Child Thrown in Jail Because He’s Messy
President Ludwig von FuckFace will not stop wading in the petty pool. In fact, if we wanted a messy president who lives for drama, then the right person is in office. Over the weekend, President ShitBag von LittleFingers got all butt-hurt after LaVar Ball refused to acknowledge the president’s role in assisting in the release…
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Marshawn Lynch Only Stood During the Mexican Anthem Because He’s the Black Honey Badger and No One Can Stop Him
There was a man who tried to tell Marshawn Lynch what to do. That man is no longer with us. Because no one—I repeat, no one—tells Marshawn Lynch what to do. On Sunday, the Oakland Raiders were taking on the New England Patriots in Azteca Stadium in Mexico City, and the Raiders running back sat…
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LiAngelo Ball, 2 Other UCLA Basketball Players Suspected of Shoplifting in China Are Now Back in the US
LiAngelo Ball and two other UCLA men’s basketball players who had been arrested on shoplifting charges in China last week have been allowed to return home. According to the Wall Street Journal, Ball—the younger brother of the Los Angeles Lakers’ Lonzo Ball—Jalen Hill and Cody Riley all checked in for a Los Angeles-bound flight at…
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Peter Vecsey Is White People
The writing staff of The Root is an eclectic mix of people of color from disparate backgrounds who hold myriad opinions so varied that discussion on any subject is liable to erupt into heated debate. We have spent hours arguing about whether okra is a vegetable or a delivery system for Satan’s backwashed phlegm. We…
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Seahawks’ Michael Bennett Stood for National Anthem Ahead of Veterans Day
Michael Bennett is proving, once and for all, that the NFL protests during the national anthem have nothing to do with veterans. The Seattle Seahawks defensive end stood for the national anthem Thursday for the first time this season, Bleacher Report notes. According to the sports site, Bennett told NBC that he stood to show…
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LiAngelo Ball, 2 Other UCLA Players Out on Bail After Arrest in China, but Will Not Play in Season-Opening Game
LiAngelo Ball, the younger brother of the Los Angeles Lakers’ Lonzo Ball, and two other UCLA men’s basketball players were released on bail early Wednesday morning after being arrested in Hangzhou, China, on shoplifting charges. According to ESPN, the three players, including freshman team members Cody Riley and Jalen Hill, are accused of stealing from…