sarah huckabee sanders
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The Definitive List of People Who May Have Bitten Beyoncé
Earlier this week, after reading Tiffany Haddish’s story about someone biting Beyoncé at an after-party, The Root gathered its NCIS (Niggas [Who] Can Investigate Shit) team together to determine who was the vampire who bit Queen Bey’s face. After a lengthy discussion, two fistfights and hours staring at one of those huge maps with thumbtacks,…
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Is Journalist April Ryan on a White House Blacklist After Asking About Stormy Daniels?
Veteran journalist April Ryan continues to do the Lord’s work just by walking into the White House—which I’m sure at this point smells like moped smoke and zoo dirt—and asking the tough, hard-hitting questions that no one else is asking. On Tuesday, Ryan noticed that White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee, didn’t…
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Jim Carrey Captures Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ Inner Demon in Portrait and the ‘MAGA’ Crowd Isn’t Happy
Funnyman Jim Carrey is actually a really deep dude who meditates and paints. On Saturday, Carrey released a portrait of a woman who favors White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee. Somehow, Carrey was able to capture Suckabee’s true inner-demon spirit. It’s almost impossible to truly capture the vile and hideous energy that…
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Watch Sarah ‘Suckabee’ Sanders Explain What the President Really Meant When He Claimed He Would’ve Run Into Florida High School
The devil speaks in his native language, which to many isn’t an actual language; it’s just mere sounds and grunts and vomit noises. As such, the devil often needs a translator: Enter Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee. One of Suckabee’s few jobs is to translate for the devil, who, for years, has been losing some…
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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Claims Trump Supports Victims of Domestic Violence; His Tweets and Statements Say Otherwise
Last week, two White House staffers resigned from their positions amid allegations they had both physically and emotionally abused their former spouses. When it was revealed that both the FBI and White House officials knew about the allegations against both men, it raised questions as to why they were allowed to keep their jobs and…
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Who’s Surprised? April Ryan Not Invited to White House Holiday Party for 1st Time in 20 Years
April Ryan, the black woman the White House loves to hate on, will not be going to the scary White House white-walking winter wonder-klan for its annual Christmas party—for the first time in 20 years. The NAACP tweeted the news Wednesday morning, saying that Ryan was not invited. The veteran White House correspondent, who recently…
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We Need a Reset Button or Something for White People
Do you remember Ruben Studdard? Of course you do! That was a rhetorical question! But just in case you don’t, Ruben won American Idol in 2003, back when that actually mattered, and then later that year released his first album, Soulful, which went platinum. Soulful’s most popular single was “Sorry 2004.” Which was a fucking…
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The Lowlights From the White House’s ‘How to Get Away With Conspiracy Against the US’ Playbook
What is this sweet scent of manure wafting in the afternoon air? Ahhh, yes! The White House press briefing. And what a show of fecal spray it was today. On a day when Donald Trump’s former campaign manager Paul Manafort and Rick Gates, Manafort’s right-hand man, surrendered to authorities after a federal grand jury indicted…
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How Many (White) People Have to Die Before America Gives a Damn About Its Gun Problem?
At the time of writing, the death toll from the Las Vegas terrorist attack stands at 58—a number that will undoubtedly rise as the day continues and may continue to rise for the following week(s). These people and several hundred others were allegedly shot by 64-year-old Stephen Paddock as he took position on the 32nd…
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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Hit With Ethics Complaint After Calling for Jemele Hill to Be Fired
Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the apologist mouthpiece for the Trump administration, is being hit with an ethics complaint for her words against ESPN’s Jemele Hill. The Democratic Coalition, a super PAC clear in its disdain for the current president, filed an ethics complaint against the current White House press secretary, who said that a tweet from…