ron desantis
-
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis Proposes 'Anti-Mob' Legislation Allowing Citizens to Shoot Looters and Rioters
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) really wants citizens to be able to shoot people. The governor is reportedly proposing “anti-mob” legislation that would expand Florida’s Stand Your Ground law, allowing armed people to protect property by shooting looters, rioters or anyone else displaying nefarious intentions against businesses and other properties. What could go wrong, right?…
-
Florida Just Doesn’t Want Former Prisoners to Vote
First, Florida voters did something so un-Florida-like that everyone outside of Florida was like, “Bitch, do y’all see Florida?” That’s because in 2018, Florida voters voted to give felons back the right to vote, which, now that I think about it, might be completely Florida-like considering Florida is made up of two things: old people…
-
Billionaire Michael Bloomberg Pays ‘Poll Tax’ for 32,000 Felons in Florida So They Can Vote
Florida is fucked up. Like sometimes when I think about hell, I imagine that it’s a lot like Florida without Miami but hotter. Much hotter. Florida is basically America’s illegitimate cousin with a meth problem who you don’t want inside the house but you also don’t want to call the police on. So they just…
-
Florida Gov. Just Made It Easy for Drivers to Run Over Black Lives Matter Protesters
If the Devil hawked a loogie and that mound of phlegm grew feet and arms it would be Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis. He might be the only man in politics who is literally dumber than Trump. Trust me, I know exactly what I’m saying. In a move that can only be called “Am I doing…
-
Federal Appeals Court Packed With Trump Appointees Rules That Former Felons in Florida Have to Pay Fees to Vote
A groundbreaking constitutional amendment that restored voting rights to about 775,000 people with former felonies in Florida has been devastatingly undercut by the 11th Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals, which ruled on Friday that the would-be voters must pay all fines and fees they may owe to the state if they want to go to…
-
Supreme Court Strikes Major Blow to Voting Rights, Won’t Change Florida Voting Rules for Felons
In 2018, Florida voters made a momentous decision: restoring the right to vote for those convicted of a felony, so long as they’ve fulfilled their prison time, parole or probation. But since then, the state of Florida has introduced what has been deemed as a modern-day voting tax for released felons, mandating that they pay…
-
Watch: Brave Soul Interrupts Dumbass Florida Governor Who Just Stands There Like an Idiot
On Monday, a man—who can’t possibly live in Florida—interrupted a press conference by Gov. Ron DeSantis (who looks exactly how you’d think a Florida governor would look) to tell the inept governor that his handling of COVID-19 throughout his state has been a joke and that he’s willing to call in the fire department to…
-
Other States Are Leading America in the Number of COVID-19 Cases. Florida: Hold My Beer!
Florida doesn’t just lead American in inventiveness, like the 450-pound Florida man who hid coke and pot under his own fat folds, or the Florida man who hid $400 in his rectum. Florida just couldn’t stand that other states were leading America in the number of COVID-19 cases, so Florida does what Florida always does:…
-
Fla. Governor Continues to be a Goddamn Idiot, Has No Plans to Do Anything as COVID-19 Cases Continue to Rise
Have you ever heard the story of how Florida was created? It all started with a chicken sandwich. God hadn’t quite built up his body to handle all of the grease from the Popeyes crunchy chicken offerings and well, he started to get a bit sick. Finally, after sweating and grabbing his stomach, God leaned…
-
A Federal Judge Has Cut Down Florida's Law Requiring Former Felons Pay Fines Before Registering to Vote
Voting rights advocates in Florida and across the country are celebrating a recent federal judge ruling that opens the door for 1.5 million felons previously barred from voting to participate in the 2020 elections. U.S. District Judge Robert L. Hinkle has gutted a state law passed by Republican legislators in Florida that requires people with…