ron desantis
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Florida Governor Wants Tighter Restrictions on Mail-In Ballots Despite His Ballot Being Tossed in 2016
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is the Cliff Clavin of Michael Scotts. He’s your favorite idiot’s favorite idiot. He is literally one of the dumbest men in the world, which is Republican for “He may be president someday.” DeSantis, more like DeGoFuckYourself, is one of a few Republican governors who wants to put tighter restrictions on…
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60 Minutes Details How Rich Floridians Cut the Line to Get COVID Vaccine
President Joe Biden announced that 90 percent of Americans will have access to COVID-19 vaccines by April and folks can get their shots within a five-mile radius. Issues of access have been a long-standing problem since the vaccine rollout began, but 60 Minutes reports that the vaccine rollout in Palm Beach County is drawing suspicions…
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Can a Sexless Robot Run for President? Some Think Mike Pence Is Making a Push for 2024
Remember back a million years ago when America was under the rule of the most racist president and his sexless robot former Vice President Mike Pence? Well, it looks like someone’s done some tinkering with his mainframe because the once homeless, couch-surfing VP might be looking to make a run at the White House in…
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Florida Sen. Rick Scott to Governors: Don’t Accept Stimulus Money
It’s said that on the ninth day of creation, God got hungry and because it was late, the only thing open was a 7-Eleven, and God was forced to eat day-old taquitos, which made him vomit and thus, Florida was born. Florida, the ass pimple of America, continues to remind the world that they love…
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Gov. Ron DeSantis Still Pushing Voter Suppression Bills Despite Claim That Florida Election Was Most Secure in the Nation
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is continuing his arbitrary-ass war on accessible voting because, well…I honestly have no idea. Well, actually I do: The Republican game plan to disenfranchise non-Republican voters is pretty well-documented—but for DeSantis, voter suppression is like his version of porn addiction. But blocking felons from retaining their voting rights after they have…
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Florida County Commissioner Prioritized COVID-19 Vaccine for County’s 2 Richest Zip Codes, Then Created a 'VIP List'
It’s no secret that a lot of Republicans are evil—probably most Republicans—but Florida Republicans are like Satan’s own personal task force sent on unholy missions to keep the most underserved and underprivileged in the state at the back of literally every line ever. I’m not sure what else to call it besides evil when a…
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How Florida Governor Ron DeSantis Helped His State Become a Superspreader
If you aren’t familiar with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, think South Carolina Lindsey Graham but even more spineless. From the beginning of Trump’s presidency, DeSantis has been fighting to win the president’s gaze. At one point, when states were turning up their nose at hosting the GOP convention because of the coronavirus, it was DeSantis…