president
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Trump on Portland Mayor Getting Tear-Gassed: They Rocked That Bama!
On Thursday, Trump took a break from punching South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham in the stomach to call into his favorite OnlyFans exotic dancer Sean Hannity’s Fox News show to clown the Portland, Ore., Mayor Ted Wheeler. Wheeler wanted to join the Black Lives Matter protesters in the Oregon city, but the protesters really don’t…
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‘Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV’: Trump Is the Latest Member of Idiot-Mensa
It’s starting to look like the cognitive test that Trump claims he aced is the only test he’s ever done well on because he won’t stop talking about it. This test literally has questions like, “Do you see an elephant? Can you point to the elephant?” and Trump is out here acting like he’s the…
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Trump’s Niece: My Uncle, the President, Was Out Here Dropping the N-Word Like a Rapper
President Trump’s niece Mary L. Trump is not here to play with y’all. Not only has her takedown of the Trump family, Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man, done Beyoncé first-week numbers, but during an interview with MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, she cleared up any doubt that the…
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Kanye West Is Officially on the Presidential Ballot in Oklahoma Because 2020 Is Chock-Full of Headaches
Despite a report on Tuesday alleging that Kanye West was “ending” his 2020 Presidential campaign (which I would rather be writing about), the Oklahoma State Election Board announced that the rapper/producer is on the ballot for the Sooner State. *Deep sigh* Per XXL, a tweet sent out by the OSEB explained that West qualified to…
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Will Whoever Left Their Crazy Racist Uncle in the White House, Come Get Him. He’s Tweeting Again
The president of people who believe that ketchup is spicy knows that barring Russian interference, a Twitter hack or some other form of espionage, his best chance to stay in the White House is to use Twitter to create fear and pandemonium, so he is doing just that. Around noon Wednesday, before the president punched…
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Trump Just All Lives Matter’d All Over Himself and Ben Carson’s Going to Have to Clean This Up
President Trump is orange. He is also a white nationalist and a white supremacist and a white man and a white unscented dryer sheet. He is the most orange white power activist in American history. During an interview with CBS News’ Catherine Herridge, the president fixed his anus-shaped mouth to “All Lives Matter” as he’s…
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Trump’s Fight Against Common Sense Has Made Dr. Anthony Fauci Collateral Damage
President Trump is the Scott Baio of Chuck Woolerys. For some reason, the president does this thing where an expert in a field—literally, a person who has spent damn near his entire life becoming an expert in his respective field—tells the president what makes sense, and the president then spends his time discrediting the expert’s…
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Trump Calls Conservative OnlyFans and Proceeds to Lie About Acing a Cognitive Test
President Trump wants America to know one thing: He is the most cognitive president to ever cognitive, and when it comes to cognitive functions, he will out cognitive Olympic-level cognitive motherfuckers because when it comes to cognitive shit, he’s acing it. On Thursday, Trump told Fox News, aka conservative OnlyFans, that doctors who gave him…
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Trump’s Sleazeball Former Lawyer Michael Cohen Is Going Back Home, and by Home, I Mean Prison
When Black folks talk about the power of whiteness, what they are referring to are folks like Michael Cohen. Cohen used to be President Trump’s personal fixer and when that didn’t work for him anymore, he ratted the president out. In 2018, Cohen was given three years in prison for campaign finance violations, tax evasion…
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Trump Isn’t Just Bullying Schools Into Reopening in the Fall, He’s Now Threatening to Withhold Funding If They Don’t [Updated]
I play this game with my 10-month-old daughter in which I put my hands over her eyes and then pull them away, and for that second that her eyes are covered, she really believes that I’ve disappeared. That’s been the president’s plan for the coronavirus—the Thanos of viruses, the 1996 Suge Knight of Death Row…