president
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Judge Rejects Trump’s Challenge to Subpoena, Tells President to Show Manhattan DA What Those Taxes Do
President Donald Trump came all the way to New Orleans to get beads but he doesn’t want to show his taxes. Trump will bend over but he refuses to let his knees touch his elbows. Trump will shake it fast, but he will not, under any circumstances, watch himself. Well, on Thursday, federal judge, Victor…
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Trump Calls for Boycott of Goodyear Tires After Claim That Company Banned MAGA Attire
If the president doesn’t walk his ass into Jerry Jones’ empty Cowboys stadium and have all of the seats after calling for a boycott of Goodyear Tires upon learning that they don’t want their employees wearing that “Make America Great Again” shit. The official sportswear of klansmen on the go, MAGA merch is right up…
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Trump Comes After Kamala Harris and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and AOC Claps Back
On Thursday, President Trump continued the verbal assault on prominent female politicians and an MSNBC host, and unless the 53 percent of white women who voted this fuckstick* into office don’t take notice and give a shit, he’s going to keep doing it and maintain the highest office in the land. During an interview with…
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Trump Claims Kamala Harris Is ‘Dream Opponent.’ Wait Till She Destroys Sexless Robot Mike Pence
On Wednesday, President Trump was doing it again, and by again, I mean he was acting as if a tornado of an opponent who is looking to bring his house down was fitting right into his plans. The president of people who enjoy Barstool Sports claimed that California Sen. Kamala Harris, she of the sisterhood of…
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Trumpkashi 45 Has to Be Trolling Us With This Mount Rushmore Bullshit
A good troll has to work hard to sell it or else it doesn’t work. And Trump has been trolling for years. In fact, he’s been trolling since Obama was in office, but I’ve mentioned this to several friends at different times: I don’t really know where Trump stands on any issue because he’s, well,…
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Trump Thinks Biden Is Going to Punch the Bible and Drop Kick God if Elected President
President Trump believes that if Joe Biden is elected president, his first days in office would include Biden placing the Bible on the floor of the White House bedroom and the 77-year-old diving off the bed to deliver a big elbow to the helpless Bible. The president of people who’ve thrown out all their watches…
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Reporter to Biden: ‘Have You Taken a Cognitive Test?’ Biden to Reporter: ‘Are You a Junkie?’
In the perpetual and cumulative colostomy bag that is 2020, the “I can’t make this shit up” cornucopia of crazy just runneth over. We basically have a presidential race between an overtly racist egg dyed with way too much orange food coloring, and a subtle racist-y egg. Both eggs are about as sharp as a…
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Trump on NBA Players Kneeling During National Anthem: ‘I Think It’s Disgraceful’
Trump doesn’t watch the NBA. In fact, when asked what the NBA stands for, Trump said, “Apparently not the anthem” and then punched Jared Kushner in the round balls. But seriously folks, Trump, who is the president of people with a nice set shot, has a whole lot of thoughts on basketball players kneeling during…
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New Slaves: Kanye West Is Being Used by Republicans to Help Ruin the Presidential Election
I’m going to need God, Jay-Z, his friend Ty Ty, John Legend, all of the Kardashians, including the recluse boy one, Adidas and Dave Chappelle to put an end to this “Kanye West for President” campaign. No matter how or why this sham of a presidential bid started, no matter what good he honestly believed…