president vladimir trumputin
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President Twitter Fingers Is Taunting North Korea on Social Media
I’m starting to get really sick of President Twitter Fingers and his Meek Mill-esque threatening tweets. Seems as if everyone besides the president of the United States knows that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un is a few Crayolas short of a 64-set, and yet he just keeps messing with him. Not only did the…
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President TrumPutin Believes He Saved Us From Trumpcare Because He Doesn’t Lose
If you believe that the House of Representatives stopped the utterly impossible and completely asinine Trumpcare bill, then you are wrong, my friends. Because America’s Emperor TrumPutin doesn’t take L’s, he now claims that the reason it never went to a vote is that he pulled it, because he’s an oracle. “I didn’t want to…
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President Pee-Pee Won’t Be Throwing the 1st Pitch on Opening Day Because He Has Tiny Fingers and Hates America
If you ever had any doubt that President Vladimir TrumPutin was an un-American shit bag, look no further: The deal-maker who has made no deals since riding Russia’s wave into the White House has turned down the Washington Nationals’ offer to throw out the first pitch on opening day. The good people over at Sporting…
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Why Is the Justice Department Trying to Silence Sally Yates?
Former acting Attorney General Sally Yates was supposed to testify before the House Intelligence Committee about the obvious connection between President Vladimir TrumPutin’s campaign staff and Russian officials—that is, until, her attorney claims, the Justice Department applied the brakes. Yates’ lawyer, David O’Neil, accused the Justice Department of trying to silence Yates, who served as…
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Devin Nunes Is Looking Real Shaky Out Here After News He Received Documents on White House Grounds
The investigation into President Pee Pee’s campaign ties to Russia is starting to become as messy as this damn administration. Now it looks like House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) met a source on White House grounds last week, a day before he claimed that then-President-elect Vladimir TrumPutin was, in fact, subjected to surveillance…
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President’s Son-in-Law to Meet With Senate Intel Committee Over Russia Meetings
President Vladimir TrumPutin’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, aka “Kushy Jared,” has agreed to a sit-down with the Senate Intelligence Committee because he has served as a “primary point of contact with foreign government officials.” “Throughout the campaign and transition, Jared Kushner served as the official primary point of contact with foreign governments and officials,”according to a…
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Trumpcare Pulled Because Like the President, the Bill Hates Old and Poor People
Trumpcare got all dressed up with no place to go. President Orange Assclown pulled his shitty health care bill at the eleventh hour because it was so bad that even House Republicans couldn’t get behind it. After all this huffing and puffing, and seven years of Republicans swearing that they would get rid of Obamacare,…
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Former Trump Aide Was Paid Millions to Benefit Russian Interests: Report
Paul Manafort, a former campaign chairman for President Vladimir TrumPutin, once worked for a Russian billionaire to advance the efforts of the Russian president. In a scathing exclusive, the Associated Press reports that in 2006, Manafort pitched plans to promote Russia’s global influence and signed a $10 million annual contract with Russian aluminum magnate Oleg…
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Seriously, WTF Is Ivanka Trump Doing in the White House?!
As it stands, Ivanka Trump has no official role in her father’s administration. She wasn’t voted into office, she wasn’t gifted an official title, and yet there she is, in the White House next to her father in confidential meetings with heads of state. And there she is staring lustfully at Canadian Prime Minister Justin…