president donald trump
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President TrumPutin Won’t Release His Tax Returns, so Stop Asking
The time has come when all of us have to accept defeat. TrumPutin is president now, and as has been evidenced in his first 100 days, he will do and say anything, including making up stuff, because he is delusional and he puts ketchup on his steaks. As such, he won’t be releasing his tax…
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Ivanka Trump Grilled and Booed During Women’s Event
Ivanka Trump, aka Lil’ Trumpet, is so annoying. She’s really annoying, and it isn’t one thing she’s doing; it’s everything—from straddling the line between being a business owner of cruisewear casuals and being the daughter of President Vladimir TrumPutin to being at every meeting, including the ones that benefit her business interests. Thankfully, the good…
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President Pee-Pee Talks Urine With an Astronaut
President Pee-Pee really needs to stop playing shy. During a video conference with NASA astronauts aboard the International Space Station on Monday, the president—yes the man who allegedly had Russian prostitutes urinate all over a bed that former President Barack Obama had slept in—got all squeamish after learning that the astronauts clean their urine for…
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President TrumPutin’s Latest Interview With the Associated Press Is Disturbing
Look, let’s be honest; we don’t expect much from this president. As long as he can keep his wooden blocks off the floor, not watch the adult channels when Papa Bannon isn’t home and doesn’t pee all over the toilet seat, we will all collectively pat him on the head and send him on his…
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TrumPutin’s Vacation Plans Have Small NJ Town Worried
Because President TrumPutin can’t stop vacationing, an entire town in New Jersey is shaking in its boots after learning that 45 may be taking his vacationing ass to one of his golf resorts as nasty Mar-a-Lago closes for the hot season. Trump is expected to make the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, N.J., “a…
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Trump Claims His 1st 100 Days in Office Don’t Mean Anything, Since He’s Done Nothing in His 1st 100 Days
As we have all come to learn with this Milli Vanilli-ass administration, nothing they say means anything. Nothing. While campaigning for president, Twitter Fingers loved to talk about what he’d accomplish in the first 100 days if elected president. Now that he is president and has done nothing of note, except moonwalk back on all…
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1st Look at President Vladimir TrumPutin’s New Staff
Nothing says good ol’ American racism like these three: Kid Rock, Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent. For some reason, maybe because the president is a big ol’ conspiracy-theorist-loving colostomy bag, he had these three over in the White House. No, they aren’t President TrumPutin’s new staff, although they probably have the same IQ. I mean,…
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TrumPutin Won’t Like This: Tom Brady Skipping White House Visit
When the Super Bowl-winning New England Patriots make their visit to the Orange House on Wednesday, arguably the most important player and friend of President Pee-Pee, quarterback Tom Brady won’t be there. Brady cited the president’s overall fuckery and disregard for men, women and children of color as the reason he won’t be making the…