president donald trump
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Layoffs Looming as No One Wants to Stay at Trump’s NYC Hotel
Since he won the election and became arguably one of the most scandal-ridden presidents since Richard Nixon, room rates are falling at Donald Trump’s five-star SoHo hotel in New York City, and up to 15 percent of the housekeeping staff may lose their jobs. According to radio station WNYC, which combed the hotel’s financial documents,…
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Trump Writes Summer-Camp Goodbye in Holocaust-Museum Guestbook
It’s one thing for President Donald Trump to be an American embarrassment. For better or worse, he is the crazed uncle who stays in the basement at Grandma’s house. He’s the American family’s shame. So Trump’s first visit overseas as president is making all of America look bad, and if you ever wondered why the…
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Day 2: Melania Trump Still Hates Her Husband and Doesn’t Want to Hold His Tiny Hand
Melania Trump thought she was signing up to marry a wealthy old man, and in turn, she was willing to act as if she at least liked him. But Donald Trump’s ego got the best of him and he decided to run for president, and since Russia’s given him the White House, Melania now finds…
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TrumPutin and President of Tajikistan Emomali Rahmon Face Off in the Handshake Yank-and-Pull
Like most things in TrumPutin’s administration, even the president’s handshake is really weird. Instead of a normal greeting in which an adult orange-faced man merely shakes a person’s hand, the president does this really obnoxious handshake arm-wrestling move wherein he starts with a normal shake and then tugs the shit out of the person. The…
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Trump’s New Budget Slashes Medicaid, Other Anti-Poverty Programs for Needy Families
Donald Trump is set Tuesday to reveal his first major budget proposal, and with it comes major cuts to Medicaid and changes to anti-poverty programs that would allow states to limit a range of benefits for needy families, something Congress has already been uneasy about. Trump’s plan follows through on a bill passed by House…
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Report: Trump Asked Intelligence Chiefs to Help Him Push Back Against FBI Probe Into Russian Collusion
In his capacity as president, Donald Trump reportedly asked two high-ranking national intelligence officials in March to help him push back against the FBI investigation into possible connections between his presidential campaign and the Russian government. Two current and two former intelligence officials spoke with the Washington Post on condition of anonymity, saying that Trump…
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Trump Is Spilling All the Tea Because He’s a Messy Bitch
President Donald Trump is the friend you tell a secret to, a secret that clearly is directly connected to you, and when you hear that secret come back to you, you know exactly who said it, and when you question him, he defends it by saying, “But I never said your name, though.” During a…
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Melania Trump Hates Her Husband and She’s Becoming Our Spirit Animal
Melania Trump is becoming the other America’s spirit animal, and by “other America,” I mean the America with a full set of teeth that doesn’t own a pickup truck or believe that the Confederate flag is a symbol of America’s pride. You know, the America that didn’t vote for this dirtbag. It appears not only…
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TrumPutin Has Lost His Mind During Overseas Trip
On Saturday, President Vladimir TrumPutin landed in Saudi Arabia for his first official trip as the lord and ruler of the “alt-right” deplorables. And, since landing in the birthplace of Islam, the president has curtsied, danced, softened his xenophobic rhetoric against Muslims and touched a glowing orb, and I think it’s clear that the president…
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Ex-FBI Director James Comey Hid Among Curtains to Avoid Trump: Report
Because the president of the United States doesn’t understand how government works, he kept trying to make James Comey his friend when Comey was FBI director. Donald Trump didn’t seem to understand that while the person who heads the FBI serves the president, he isn’t the president’s servant. Now news has emerged that the former…