president donald trump
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Steve Bannon Goes Rogue, Calls Reporter and Spills All the Lipton, but Something Doesn’t Seem Right
Steve Bannon, aka Fat Russell Crowe Face, aka the Notorious S.T.E.V.E, aka Papa Bannon, has gone rogue. With rumors swirling that the White House chief strategist might not survive the week, Bannon pulled an Anthony Scaramucci Mane and called a reporter to dump all the Lipton. In an interview with progressive publication American Prospect, Bannon…
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Trump Disbands Advisory Councils After CEOs ‘Greyjoy’ off His Sinking Ship
Clearly it isn’t a courageous move by CEOs to abandon the president of white supremacy right after his off-the-rails white nationalist rant, but in a symbolic move, top corporate leaders have left the executive councils, forcing the president to end the groups altogether. According to the New York Times, Stephen A. Schwarzman, the chief executive…
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Here’s Why the CEOs Leaving Trump’s Councils Aren’t Heroes
When I was in the seventh grade, my dad gave me firm instructions to come home after school. My middle school was across the street from a mall, which meant that after school, everyone hung out, and my dad didn’t want me in the mall getting into trouble, since a group of kids had been…
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Trump Has Folder With Photos of Him on TV Looking Powerful Delivered to Him Because He’s a Child
I wish this were a joke. Seriously, I wish that the president of the White Walkers wasn’t this shallow and embarrassing, but according to a Vice News report, this dumbass has a folder full of positive cable news clippings, articles, interview transcripts, tweets and even “photos of Trump on TV looking powerful” delivered to him…
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Trump Retweets Unnamed-Source Report on North Korea Condemned by UN Ambassador Because He Doesn’t Know What the Hell He’s Doing
Because Donald Trump has no clue what the hell he’s doing in office, and because no one in his staff can keep his dumb ass off Twitter, he tweeted out an anonymously sourced story (because, you know, Fox News), and within hours, United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley condemned the same story on Fox News. Trump…
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Damn … Damn … Dayumm! Jimmie Walker Tells Fox News He Loves Trump, Bill Maher and Ronald Reagan
Before we begin this article, I need to reveal that a few weeks ago, I swore a solemn oath to the gods of hot sauce and ankle lotion that I would never publicly refer to a black person as a “coon.” I didn’t know I would be tested this soon. This morning started off great.…
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‘I’m Not Steve Bannon, I’m Not Trying to Suck My Own Cock’: How Scaramucci Mane Is Becoming the New Honey Badger
There is a very easy deplorables test that one can take at home, and it goes like this: If you feel bad for the new White House communications director, Anthony Scaramucci, aka Scaramucci Mane, or anyone one who has been inside the Oval Office in the past five months, then you probably are a deplorable.…
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Trump Is a Passive-Aggressive Lover Who Needs to End It With Jeff Sessions
Because the president handles his relationships like a Twitter-obsessed teen, the American public has been privy to the nightmare reality show that is the White House, and, it looks like Attorney General Jeff Sessions has upset the emperor. On Tuesday morning, President “Da Fuq Is Wrong With This Man?” tweeted: I guess the president doesn’t…
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Donald Trump Has Always Been a Disloyal Thot
Shortly before Super Tuesday last year, then-Sen. Jeff Sessions endorsed Donald Trump for president. At a campaign rally in Sessions’ home state of Alabama, Sessions explained to the crowd that while “we don’t get everything we want” in a candidate, “at this time, in my best judgment, at this time in America’s history, we need…
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If Trump Tweets and No One Reports It, Does It Make a Sound?
It’s Monday, and that usually means that the president, who has the mental capacity of a teenager in the back of his parents’ car on a road trip vacation he doesn’t want to be on, is tweeting again. Of course, he’s tweeting about Russia and witch hunts and FAKE NEWS (all caps, always all caps)…