Politics
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Vladimir TrumPutin to Run for President in 2020; Hopefully He’ll Be Impeached Before This Happens
Talking about jumping the gun: The president of KhakiPants, Kan., is reportedly running for president in 2020, but he may want to focus on staying in office in 2018. As it stands, the Kremlin walls of collusion with Russia are closing in, and who does the president tap to run his 2020 campaign? Brad Parscale.…
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Trump’s Latest Tweet Proves Russia Investigation Is Heating Up
One thing I’ve learned since President Donald Trump took office is that he isn’t even remotely sophisticated. A benefit that we—those of us who didn’t vote for Trump—have is that because he wears his emotions, as well as his presidential number, on his sleeve—we see you, 45! On Tuesday the president finished up his morning…
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The Gun Laws Moving Forward in the Florida Legislature Could Make Schools Especially Dangerous for Students of Color
On Monday, during an intense state Senate committee hearing on gun control, Florida lawmakers struck down a ban on assault rifles and approved an amendment allowing educators to carry firearms in school. Speaking on the floor during the session, Florida state Sen. Oscar Braynon told the room that “the talk” he gave his young boys…
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I Think Donald Trump and the NRA Just Solved All That Black Lives Matter Stuff
In the ongoing search for solutions to police brutality and state violence, black America has proposed some pretty outlandish ideas, including police accountability, better law enforcement training and—most radical of all—not hiring racist cops. But the recent debate about school safety and gun control has enlightened me to the fact that the previously mentioned ideas…
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Governor Wannabe Loves NRA Discounts So Much He’s Threatening One of His State’s Biggest Employers Over Them
In the fallout from the school shooting in Parkland, Fla., on Feb. 14, companies across the U.S. have been cutting ties with the National Rifle Association. On Saturday, both Delta Air Lines and its competitor United joined that growing list by announcing that they were ceasing discounts for NRA members. According to Raw Story, Delta…
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10 Presidents More Likely to Save You Than Trump
Today, much of America is still in shock or mourning over the deaths of 17 kids and staff at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. Not President Donald Trump, though; he’s out stunting, bashing the armed school security officer for not running into the school to save the kids, and of course, making…
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Watch Sarah ‘Suckabee’ Sanders Explain What the President Really Meant When He Claimed He Would’ve Run Into Florida High School
The devil speaks in his native language, which to many isn’t an actual language; it’s just mere sounds and grunts and vomit noises. As such, the devil often needs a translator: Enter Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee. One of Suckabee’s few jobs is to translate for the devil, who, for years, has been losing some…
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This Punk-Ass President Out Here Talking ’Bout How He Would’ve Run Into That Florida School Without a Gun
I really want this punk-ass president to stop believing that he’s a superhero. It’s one thing to ask teachers to carry guns, but it’s a whole other thing to make believe that you’re a tough guy when you were born a whole bitch. President Donald Trump said Monday that he would have charged into the…
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Video of Me Was Used to Introduce Donald Trump at the Conservative Political Action Conference and I’m Pretty Sure I’m on a Watch List
I should cosplay as the characters from Undercover Brother or The Spook Who Sat by the Door. I have parachuted in to report at just about every single right-wing, alt-conservative confab you can think of over the last few years. Red State, the NRA convention and GOP conventions. If the Fox News, “Make America great…
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Ivanka Trump on Her Father’s 19 Sexual Assault Accusers: ‘I Believe My Father’
The number of accusers claiming that President Donald Trump sexually assaulted them stands at 19. Nineteen women have come out to claim that before the president became the president, he was sexually inappropriate. The claims of these 19 women run the gamut from unwanted touching to unwanted kissing, and Trump’s daughter Ivanka Trump, a champion…