Politics
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Trump, Come Get Your Boy! Vladimir Putin Claims Russia Has Nuclear Weapons That Can’t Be Intercepted
While the president of the United States holds paper-airplane-throwing competitions inside the Oval Office against chief of staff John Kelly and Secretary of Defense James Mattis (yes, Kelly and Mattis manipulated their airplanes so that the president’s paper plane flies farther), Russian president, and America’s play cousin, Vladimir Putin is boasting that he has nuclear…
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Trump Claims Republicans Are Afraid of the NRA; Too Bad He Will Forget This Ever Happened in 3, 2 …
President Donald Trump is batshit crazy, and one of the good things about being batshit crazy is that you don’t have any loyalty to anyone—therefore, anybody can get it. On Wednesday during a televised meeting with lawmakers at the White House, Trump came out swinging against his own “party” (I use the word loosely because…
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Dear White Teen Gun Control Activists: Could You Ask for a Few Things for Black America?
Dear Teen Activists: First, I want to say that I admire your work and everything you’re doing to stop America’s idiotic deification of killing machines. Your activism has already impacted this country and will likely save lives. When I saw that Walmart announced that it would allow only people age 21 or over to purchase…
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The Return of Back-Alley Abortions? Mike Pence Predicts End of Legal Abortion ‘in Our Time’
Vice President Mike Pence continues to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong: in the reproductive organs of American women. While speaking at a luncheon hosted by the anti-abortion organization the Susan B. Anthony List & Life Issues Institute in Nashville, Tenn., Pence said that he believes legal abortion in the United States will end…
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Walmart Will No Longer Sell Guns and Ammo to People Under 21
Even if our federal government won’t make changes to gun laws, rules and regulations, retailers will. Big-box store Walmart became the latest Wednesday when it announced that it will no longer sell guns and ammunition to anyone under the age of 21. The company also made the decision to remove any items resembling assault rifles…
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Pain and Policy: Why Reparative Justice Is Needed to End the War on Drugs [Retracted]
RETRACTED (6/12/18): This story has been removed because we have discovered it was in breach of our editorial standards. If you’d like to know more, you can read an editor’s note here. A cached version of the story is available here for transparency.
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Trump Called Out Attorney General Jeff Sessions Because He Doesn’t Understand How This Works
The president is proof that a subhuman nonthinking white man can one day become the leader of the free world. Asparagus should feel inspired. Sure, it is nonverbal, and yes, it is merely a vegetable, but other than color, what’s the difference between asparagus and the president? Seriously, they both know about the same when…
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Could a Russian Call Girl Be the Straw That Breaks This Joe Camel-Colored President’s Back?
Nastya Rybka claims to have been the mistress of Russian billionaire Oleg Deripaska. Why should you care about this? Well, Rybka also claims to be able to connect all of the dots missing from the Russia investigation and President Donald J. Trump. Rybka was recently arrested and thrown into a Thai jail and now, most…
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Ben Carson Wants to Cut HUD Funding, but Not His Office-Redecoration Budget
While Ben Carson was busy refusing to answer Texas Democratic Rep. Al Green’s question about proposed Department of Housing and Urban Development budget cuts, Carson’s office was being redecorated with a brand-new $31,000 dining room set. The New York Times reports that just one month after a whistleblower complained about Carson’s wife, Candy, insisting that…
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Let the Probing Begin: Mueller Is All Up in Trump’s Russian Business Now
Shit just got real, ladies and gentlemen. We have been waiting to see where Robert Mueller’s probe was going to go as far as Donald Trump was concerned, and now we know. The special counsel is now looking into Trump’s business activities prior to his candidacy for the U.S. presidency. CNN reports that Mueller’s investigators…

