news
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Trial of DeAndre Harris, Black Man Beaten During Charlottesville, Va., White Supremacist Rally, to Begin Friday
You may remember the story of DeAndre Harris. The black Charlottesville, Va., resident was brutally beaten and severely wounded by white supremacists in August in a parking garage attack during the Unite the Right rally. Well, despite the fact that Harris was the one who was viciously attacked and left with a broken wrist and…
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Top Cop Jeff Sessions Speaks to Chiefs of Police and Collectively They Form the Broviet Union
The Trump administration is continuing its tradition of speaking to crowds that are largely favorable to its policies. On Thursday, Attorney General Jeff “King Keebler” Sessions spoke at the International Association of Chiefs of Police conference in Nashville, Tenn. What is the International Association of Chiefs of Police? Who knows, but it looks like a…
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Report: White Men Stockpile Guns Because They’re Afraid of Black People
In a clear case of reverse racism, an obscure, little-known discipline called “science” has revealed that the vast majority of gun owners are uneducated white males who think black people are preparing to launch a sneak attack against the Caucasians any day now. A new article in Scientific American by Jeremy Adam Smith (yes, “American”…
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‘I Hope It’s a Trap and Y’all Get Shot’: Sister of White Supremacist Dylann Roof Sends Hostile Snapchat, Is Arrested on Charges Over Weapons, Drugs on School Grounds
Well, it certainly looks as if the same rotten tree produced the same rotten fruit. And as it turns out, while some students were marching for their lives on National Walkout Day to protest gun violence, Morgan Roof, the sister of white supremacist and mass murderer Dylann Roof, was on social media expressing her disgust.…
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Way to Kill My Childhood and 33,000 Jobs: Toys ‘R’ Us to Close All U.S. Stores
When I was a kid, there was nothing better than being allowed to roam the aisles of our local Toys ‘R’ Us, staring at all the dolls, toys, games and bikes I knew my parents weren’t going to buy for me. It didn’t matter that the vast majority of the stuff on those shelves wasn’t…
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California High School Teacher Fires Gun in Classroom During Safety Lesson, Injures 3 Students and … Must I Really Go On?
Today in “This is exactly why schools should be gun-free zones” news, a Seaside, Calif., teacher—who is also a reserve police officer, mind you—somehow accidentally fired a gun inside a local high school classroom on Tuesday, injuring three students. What makes this even more depressing? The incident occurred during a course about gun safety. According…
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Shaquille O’Neal’s Politics Have Always Been Confusing, but Now He Sounds Like a Giant Mouthpiece for the NRA
Shaquille O’Neal is a great big black man. He was a phenomenal basketball player and a horrible rapper. He likes to bill himself as a big ol’ cuddly teddy bear, but Shaquille O’Neal’s politics are dangerous. He’s a great big black man with a podium and a microphone and a whole lot of “pull your…
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Ben Carson Proves He’s Still Black: $31,000 Dining Room Set Included Breakfront China Cabinet
I would love to say that neurosurgeon-turned-head of the Department of Housing and Urban Development Ben “Mumbles” Carson is merely following in the lying tradition established by the Trump administration, but Mumbles was a liar long before joining the ranks of the White House elite. There was the time Mumbles claimed that he avoided being…
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British Schoolboys Accused of Whipping Black Student in ‘Mock Slave Auction’
Well, some of our neighbors across the pond appear to have lost their damn minds. Currently, police in the U.K. are investigating an incident in which multiple white teenagers apparently chained a black student to a lamppost, whipped him with sticks and called him racist slurs as part of a “mock slave auction.” The incident…