news
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Trump Fires Personal Aide Because President Still Believes He’s Shooting The Apprentice: Report
No one wants to go into the Oval Office and tell the president that he no longer has to act like this really wealthy business tycoon who fires people willy-nilly. On Tuesday, Donald Trump not only fired the secretary of state—and stand-in for every daytime soap opera’s mean oil baron—Rex Tillerson, but he also got…
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What Kind of Impact Do School Shootings Have on Kids? Well, Ask This Alabama 6th-Grader Who Just Wrote a Will
No student at any age should go to school wondering if they’ll even walk back out. No child should already have a “will” prepared just in case they never return home from school. Unfortunately, in this country, it seems that we don’t care, as lawmakers refuse to put effective gun control measures into place, while…
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Package Bombs That Killed 2 in Austin, Texas, Are Connected, Police Say
The city of Austin, Texas, is on edge after authorities said Monday they believe that three package explosions occurring at different homes this month, causing the death of two people, are connected. As the Washington Post notes, the announcement has spiked fears in the Texas state capital, which is also hosting tens of thousands of…
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Craig Mack, Legendary Hip-Hop Pioneer, Dead at 46
Craig Mack, 46, the legendary Bad Boy artist who burst onto the national stage in 1994 with that “Flava in Ya Ear,” died Monday night at a hospital near his Walterboro, S.C., home, reportedly of heart failure. He was 46 years old. Alvin Toney, Mack’s producer, confirmed Mack’s death to the New York Daily News.…
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Republicans on House Intelligence Committee Don’t Think Trump Is Putin’s Pawn
The Republican members of the House Intelligence Committee announced Monday that they do not believe Russian President Vladimir Putin attempted to help Donald Trump win the 2016 U.S. presidential election. According to CNN, those same GOP members said they found no evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia, and they will be shutting…
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National Geographic Snatches Its Own Wig Over Racist Past
This may come as a surprise to no one, but [stage whispers] National Geographic (along with many other publications) used to be hella, obviously racist. Shocking. I know. But as it turns out, we don’t even need to lash out at Nat Geo for its racist past, as the world-renowned magazine that explores science, geography,…
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College Student Who Smeared Bodily Fluids on Black Roommate’s Belongings Receives Special Probation to Avoid Criminal Record. How Not Shocking
Brianna Brochu will not be facing any real punishment for smearing her bodily fluids all over, and tampering with, her black roommate’s belongings. In fact, quite the opposite. Brochu, who was expelled from the University of Hartford in Connecticut following the incident, was granted a special type of probation on Monday that would allow her…
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After Watching the ‘Hypothetical’ O.J. Simpson Confession, I Realize White People Were Right All Along
They say the mark of an enlightened man is that he can objectively consider new information, rethink his position and admit when he’s wrong. Today I am here to admit to white America that I was totally wrong about Orenthal James Simpson. (I know using “white” as an adjective to describe “America” is redundant, but…
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Betsy DeVos Becomes the Face of Clownery After Trainwreck 60 Minutes Interview
God bless 60 Minutes’ Lesley Stahl, the reporter who had to squint to properly process the unmitigated idiocy dribbling from Betsy DeVos’ mouth during an interview with the secretary of education Sunday night. DeVos smiled and gave glib and at times false statements during the segment. At one point DeVos said, “We should be investing in…
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Police Searching for Troglodyte Who Spray-Painted Racial Slur on Historic African-American Building
If you see a hateful, little, Gollum-esque creature running around Nantucket, Mass., please contact the local police because they are searching for that individual. According to CBS Boston, to be more specific, police are looking for the person who decided it would be a great idea to write “Niggers Leave” on the front door of…

