mike pence
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GTFOH Trump Watch: Why the $2,000 Trump Stimulus Check Is Bullshit
My homeboy Lavelle and I had this thing we did when a kid wanted to fight me and I didn’t want to fight. I would act like I was taking off my shirt and Lavelle knew that was his cue to jump in and act like he was breaking it up. I was rail-thin growing…
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Mike Pence to Get Televised COVID-19 Vaccine; Biden, Some Time Next Week
In an attempt to ensure Americans (read anti-vaxers and Black folks) that the coronavirus vaccine is safe, Vice President and sexless robot Mike Pence will publicly get the shot Friday. President-elect Joe Biden is expected to get the vaccine as early as next week. Because Pence doesn’t do anything without his wife, Karen Pence (her…
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Trump Hasn’t Taken Questions From the Press in Three Weeks. He Just Held a Press Conference That Lasted 90 Seconds
WTF was Mike Pence doing there? No, seriously. What in the hell was the outgoing vice president doing at Trump’s 90-seconds press conference when people from his home planet of Abstinencia were trying to reach him out in Utah? Much like Melania before him, Pence needs to call “ballgame” and go ahead and head home.…
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Mike Pence's Closest Staffers Are Testing Positive for COVID-19, But the VP Has No Plans to Quarantine
About five members of Vice President Mike Pence’s inner team now have coronavirus, a troubling outbreak that nonetheless seems not to have thwarted Pence’s plans to travel across the country campaigning in the coming days. The first case reported this weekend was that of the Vice President’s Chief of Staff, Marc Short, who a spokesperson…
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Wish You Could Snatch Mike Pence's Wig? Well, You Can!
If there’s one thing that really gets under the Trump administration’s craw, it’s humiliation—which might explain the perverse pleasure so many of us derived by seeing a housefly make itself comfortable atop Mike Pence’s otherwise pristine, supremacist-white hair for several minutes during Wednesday night’s vice-presidential debate. The fly, indisputably the real winner of the debate,…
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The Significance of 'I'm Speaking'
Now that we have your attention. We can talk about the fly, the facts (or lack thereof), the facial expressions, or the ineffectualness of yet another debate moderator, but what should never be forgotten in the midst of the many eyebrow-raising moments in Wednesday night’s vice-presidential debates is that no matter what you think of…
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An Exclusive Interview With the Fly Who Crashed the Vice Presidential Debate
Perhaps the star of Wednesday night’s debate between vice presidential nominee Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) and Vice President Mike Pence was the housefly who managed to evade security and land on Pence’s head. While other outlets interviewed Pence and Harris, The Root managed to score an exclusive interview with the show-stealing housefly. The Root: Hi,…
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The Fly and Blood in Mike Pence’s Eye: 5 Takeaways From the Vice Presidential Debate
So it happened. The Mike Tyson and Roy Jones of vice-presidential candidates finally faced off behind plexiglass, and to quote former Arizona head coach Dennis Green, “They are who we thought they were.” Mike Pence proved to be a robotic version of the president’s agenda and Sen. Kamala Harris didn’t have time for the vice…
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Mike Pence Objected to the Plexiglass for Tonight's Debate. Now He’s Fine With It. Could It Have Anything to Do With Stephen Miller Testing Positive for Coronavirus?
White America’s Vice President Mike Pence knows that he’s in trouble. On Wednesday night, he has to sit across from a debate pitbull and explain all of the things that his administration has ruined—the handling of the coronavirus, the economy, the failure to reach a news stimulus deal, unemployment, the connection between the Popeyes chicken…
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The Real Reason for the Plexiglass and Other Things to Watch for in Wednesday’s Vice Presidential Debate
Turns out that the social distancing and plexiglass requirements during Wednesday’s presidential debate had nothing to do with the coronavirus pandemic, as Vice President Mike Pence (the man who doesn’t dine with women alone) needs these protections if he’s going to be on stage with a woman alone. This may have something to do with…