mike pence
-
Can a Sexless Robot Run for President? Some Think Mike Pence Is Making a Push for 2024
Remember back a million years ago when America was under the rule of the most racist president and his sexless robot former Vice President Mike Pence? Well, it looks like someone’s done some tinkering with his mainframe because the once homeless, couch-surfing VP might be looking to make a run at the White House in…
-
Unemployed Former President Keeps Hating on Champagne Biden From Outside the Club
It must be hard looking at your former life and wondering what could’ve been while standing in line to get into the spot you used to run through—only to see the limo pull up and Champagne Biden wave his way into the club. Such is life for the unemployed former President Donald Trump, who can’t…
-
Man Charged With Sending Threatening Texts to Congressman’s Family During the Capitol Riot
There are certain Congress members who look like they are about that life. All of “the Squad,” aka the A-Team, look like they can fight. They all look like they just finished telling someone, “I’m getting tired of people playing with my money.” On the other hand, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) does not. He looks…
-
Mike Pence Is Homeless
Pastor Crockett: I would like to welcome everyone to Lovejoy’s Church of Spirits and Blessings, which, as you all know, is a Pentecostal, Baptist, Catholic, atheist, Muslim, trap house for the lord. Amen? And today it seems our prayers have been answered. Bitch….Beeyotch…. Mike Pence and his wife Karen are homeless. You heard that right.…
-
GTFOH Trump Watch: You Better Go Look at That Border Wall While You Can
The wall that no one wanted has become a metaphor for Trump’s time in office: an unfinished, expensive waste of time and energy that will be forgotten as soon as he leaves office. On Tuesday, the president of people who shop at Big Lots will travel to Alamo, Texas, to gaze at his failure one…
-
House of Representatives Formally Introduces Resolution to Impeach President Trump on Grounds of ‘Incitement of Insurrection’
The House of Representatives formally introduced a resolution on Monday to impeach President Donald Trump for the “incitement of insurrection.” CNN reports that the resolution to impeach the president was introduced by Rep. David Cicilline (D-R.I.) and Rep. Ted Lieu (D-Calif.). On Sunday, Cicilline tweeted that the resolution has 200 mostly Democratic co-sponsors in the…
-
Skee-Why? Kamala Harris' 1st Vogue Cover Sparks a Slew of Questions—Namely, What Was Anna Wintour Thinking? [Updated]
The ongoing pandemic has forced some necessary pivots for all of us—the ways we work, play, communicate, and create have all dramatically changed in the past year, for better or for worse. The fashion industry has been among those forced to get especially creative, finding new ways to pare down typically lavish, personnel-heavy shoots in…
-
Nancy Pelosi Contacts Top General About Keeping ‘Unhinged’ President Away From the Nuclear Codes
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi reached out to a top general to find out about adding extra steps to stop “unhinged” President Trump from using the nuclear codes. According to the New York Post, Pelosi called Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Mark Milley about the madman in the White House and what he’s capable of…
-
GTFOH Trump Watch: Look Straight Into the Camera and Pretend to Love America
After some 60 failed court attempts to overturn the election and a failed coup, the president of people who still believe that the election was rigged has finally acknowledged electoral defeat. It only took two months, Rudy Giuliani’s human dookie face to begin melting, a whole lot of shouting from the Trump brood and an…
-
White House Sources Say Trump Is Turning on All of His People—Including His Own Vice President
Apparently, the worst place to work right in America now is the White House. In his final days in office, y’all’s soon-to-be-ousted president is reportedly losing all of his friends faster than Game of Thrones characters who made it to the final season. Basically, President-reject Donald Trump is solidifying his reputation as a senior citizen…