kellyanne conway
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John Cornyn Blaming Coronavirus on Chinese 'Culture' Is Only the 3rd Most Racist Thing a Republican Said Today
We finally have some good news out of this coronavirus crisis. It turns out, I’m not racist. While I have long suspected that the charges of reverse racism levied against me were bullshit, a group of Republicans went all out on blaming their president’s inability to contain the coronavirus on the Chinese people, even arguing…
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Kellyanne Conway and Don Jr. Gentrify MLK Day With Raisin and Mayo-Laced Bullshit
Much like cornrows, hips, lips, asses and black men who play basketball, white people love some Martin Luther King Jr. Once a year, they co-opt the holiday observed in his name and act like they loved him his whole life. Studies taken by Me and Me—more formally called Me (I did the study)—show that white…
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Kellyanne Conway’s Husband Has a Brutal Nickname for Trump and It’s Perfect
I don’t spend time thinking much about counselor to the president Kellyanne Conway and her husband George Conway’s relationship but whenever I do, I have a few thoughts: How long has Kellyanne been part of the undead? How does George list Kellyanne on their taxes and can you file jointly if one person is dead?…
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Kellyanne Conway Tried to Burn Joe Biden. Then Her Husband Came and Lit Her Ass Up
I am convinced—and no one can unconvince me—that White House counselor Kellyanne Conway and her husband, Mr. Kellyanne Conway, have a sex game that looks like this: Kellyanne, aka Lil Half-Dead, will work for one of the most powerful racists in the country and Mr. Kellyanne Conway (I think his name is George or Bill…
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Kellyanne Conway Goes on Unhinged Rant and Asks Reporter ‘What’s Your Ethnicity?’
I don’t know why we are forced to live in a world where Kellyanne Conway talks to reporters but this is the life Donald Trump has created. On Tuesday, Conway spoke to journalists—and things took a really weird turn. According to the Daily Beast, Andrew Feinberg, a writer for BeltwayBreakfast.com asked the White House counselor…
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Kellyanne Conway Dismisses House Call to Discuss Accusations She’s Been Talking Out of Turn
Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway refused Monday to appear before a House committee probing stuff she’s said that lawmakers say violated a federal law banning government employees from engaging in political speech while on the job. Conway, with her boss’ blessing, ignored a subpoena from the House Oversight and Reform Committee to answer questions about her…
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Kellyanne Conway Trade Barbs Over Conditions at Southern Border
After what by all accounts was a harrowing visit to immigrant detention facilities, the last thing Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) probably had time for was commentary from the peanut gallery, aka someone who wasn’t there: in this case, one Kellyanne Conway. On Tuesday, one day after Ocasio-Cortez and a group of other Democrats witnessed what…
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Government Watchdog Wants Kellyanne Conway Fired, but Conway Wants That Smoke: 'Let Me Know When the Jail Sentence Starts'
Kellyanne Conway is a federal employee. As White House counselor, she is basically a well-paid executive branch federal employee, but a federal employee, nonetheless. So, as a White Walker affirmative-action hire, she isn’t supposed to be bashing Democratic presidential candidates. On Thursday, the Office of Special Counsel informed the White House that because Conway can’t…
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Kellyanne Conway's Husband Nicknames the President 'Deranged Donald' and the Internet Loves It
I’m not sure how Kellyanne Conway does it. The Crypt Keeper is not only the White House counselor, she’s also second liar if White House spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders is busy, and she’s married to a man who absolutely detests her boss. George Conway doesn’t just dislike the president’s politics, he’s very good at beating…